MS-HRC-SB-5-10

[2195.3] perhaps it's worse.

[2196] So much for the you^, that's the you off
our mind.[2197] And now for the it^, I prefer ^that, I must
say I prefer ^{[⁁] that,} what a memory^, real fly-paper^, I don't know^,
I don't prefer it ^{[⁁] any more,} that's all I know^, so why bother about
it^, a thing you don't prefer^{, just think of} that^, bothering about
that^{, perish the thought,} one must wait^, discover a preference^,
within one's bosom^, then it will be time enough to institute
an inquiry.

[2198.1] Moreover^, that's right^{, link, link,} you never
know^, moreover their attitude towards me has not changed^, I am
deceived^, they are deceived^, they have deceived me^, they have
tried to deceive me^, saying their attitude towards me
had changed^, but they haven't deceived me^{, I} didn't understand
what they were trying to do^, I didn't understand what they
were trying to do to me^, I say what I'm told to say^, that's
all there is to it^{, and yet I wonder,} I don't know^,

[2198.1] I don't feel a mouth on me^, I don't feel the ^{jostle of} words
in my mouth^, and when you say a poem you like^, if you like
poetry, in the ^underground, or in bed^, for yourself^, the words are
there^, somewhere^, without the least sound^, I don't feel that
either^, words falling^, you ^don't know where^, you ^don't know whence^,
drops of silence through the silence^, I don't feel it^, I don't
feel a mouth on me^, nor a head^, do I feel an ear^, frankly
now^, do I feel an ear^, well frankly I don't^, so much the worse^,

[2198.1] I don't feel an ear either^, [2198.2] this is awful^, make an effort^,
I must feel something^, yes^, I feel something^, they say I
feel something^, I don't know what it is^, I don't know what I
feel^{, t}ell me what I feel ^and I'll tell you who I am^, they'll tell
me who I am^, I won't understand^, but the thing will be said^,
they will have said who I am^, and I'll have heard^, without an
ear I'll have heard^, and I'll have said it^, without a mouth
I'll have said it^, I'll have heard it inside me^, then in the

[2198.2] same breath outside me^, perhaps that's what I feel^, an outside and an inside and ^me in the middle^, perhaps
that's what I am^, the thing that divides the world in two^,