MS-HRC-SB-5-10

[2284] but me, anything but me, talking to me of me, impossible to stop,
impossible to go on, but I must go on, I'll go on, without anyone,
without anything, but me, but my voice, that is to say I'll stop,
I'll end, it's the end already, short-lived, what is it, a little
hole, you go down into it, into the silence, it's worse than the
noise, you listen, it's worse than talking, no, not worse, no
worse, you wait, anxious, have they forgotten ^{[⁁] me}, no, yes, no, someon^e
calls me, I climb ^crawl out again, what is it, a little hole, in the
wilderness.

[2285] It's the end that is the worst, no, it's the beginning
that is the worst, then the middle, then the end, in the end it's
the end that is the worst, this voice which, it's every second
that is in the worst, it's a chronicle, the seconds pass, one
after another, jerkily, no flow, they don't pass, they arrive,

[2285] bang, bang, they bang into you, bounce off, fall and never move
again, when you have nothing left to say you talk of time, seconds
of time, there are some people add them together to make a life,
I can't, each one is the first, no, the second, or the third,
I'm three seconds old, oh not every day of the week.

[2286] I've been
away, done something, been in a hole, , I've just come ^crawled out, per-
haps I went silent, no, I say that in order to say something,
in order to go on a little more ^longer, you must go ^on a little more ^longer, you
must go on a long time more, you must go on for ever more, if

[2286] I could reme^mber what I have said I could repeat it, if I could
learn something by heart I'd be saved, I have to keep on saying
the same thing and each time it's an effort, the seconds must be
alll alike and each one is infernal, what am I saying now, I'm
saying I wish I knew.

[2287] And yet I have memories, I remember Worm,
that is to say I have retained the name, and the other one, what
is his name, what was his name, in his jar, I can see him still,
better than I can see me, I know how he lived, now I remember,
I alone saw him, but no one sees me, no^r him, I don't see him any
more, he was never there, in his jar, I never saw him Mahood, he
was called Mahood, I don't see him any more, I don't know how he
lived any more, he isn't there any more, he was never there, in hi^s
jar, I never saw him, adⁿd yet I remember, I remember having talked