MS-HRC-SB-5-10

[1033] they resume the thread of my misfortunes, judging me insufficiently
vita^lized to bring them to a successful conclusion alone and un-
aided.

[1034] But instead of making the junction, I have often noticed
this, I mean instead of ^resuming me at the point where I was
^{left off}, they pick me up at a much later stage, perhaps thereby
hoping to induce in me the delusion that I had got through the
in^terval ^all on my own, lived without help of any kind

[1034] for quite some time, without any recollection of by what means or
in what circumstances, or ^even died, all on my own, and come
back to earth again, by way of the vagina, like a real live baby,
and reached a ripe age, and even senility, without the least
assistance from them and thanks solely to the indications they
had given me.

[1035] To saddle me with a lifetime is probably not enough
for them, I have to be given a taste of two or three generations.
[1036] But it is not certain.[1037] Perhaps all they have told me has reference
to a single existence, the confusion of identities being merely
apparent and due to my inaptitude to assume ^any.[1038] ^{If I ever} succeed
in dying under my own steam, then they will be in a better position
to decide ^whether I am worthy to adorn another age, or to try the
same one again, in the light of my experience.

[1039] I may therefore
legitimately suppose that the one-armed, one-legged wayfarer of
a moment ago and the wedge-headed trunk in which I am now ^{stuck
marooned} are simply two phases of the same carnal envelope,
the soul being notoriously immune from ^necrosis and dis-
memberment.[1040] Having lost one leg, what indeed more ^likely than
that I should mislay the other?[1041] And sⁱmilarly for the arms.

[1042] A
natural transition in sum.[1043] But what then of that other old age
they bestowed upon me, if I remember right, and that other
middle age, when neit^her legs nor arms were lacking, but simply
the power to profit ^benefit by them?[1044] And of that kind of youth in which
they had to give me up for dead?

[1045] If I have a warm place, it
is not in their hearts.^][1046] No doubt they have done what they could to
be agreeable to me, to get me out of here, on no matter what pre-
text, in no matter what disguise.[1047] All I reproach them with is their
insistence.For beyond them is that other who will not give me