[p. 15v] DOODLE 45
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[p. 16r] seeking no longer, seeking again, finding
nothing, finding at last, losing again,
talking without stopping, as thirsty as ever,
seeking as usual, losing as usual, talking
away, seeking again, wondering what,
what it's all about, seeking what it can
be you seek, exclaiming, Ah yes, sighing,
No no, groaning, Enough, ejaculating,
Not yet, seeking anew, losing your
head, seeking your head, talking incessantly,
any old thing, seeking once more, any old
thing, thirsting away, you don't know for
what, ah yes, something to do, no no,
nothing more to be done, since when,
since time began, [2206.3] and enough of that,
unless perhaps, that's an idea, let us seek
there, one last effort, seek what, very true,
let us try and discover, before we can, what
it can be, before we seek there, where,
talking unceasingly, seeking incessantly,
in yourself, outside yourself, seeking
no longer, losing your head, cursing God,
stopping cursing, being damned if you can
bear unable to bear it any more, going on
bearing, seeking indefatigably, in nature,
the world of nature, the world of man, not
knowing what, not know where, where is
nature, what's man, what are you seeking,
who is seeking, seeking who you are, ultimate
ab supreme aberration, where you are,
what you're doing, what you've done to
them, what they've done to you, [2206.4] talking
fluently, where are the others, who is
talking, it's not I, where am I, where
is it where I've always been, where are
the others, it's they are talking, talking to
me, talking of me, I hear them, I'm dumb,
what do they want, what have I done to them,
what have I done to God, what have they done
to God, what has God done to us, nothing,
and we've done nothing to him, you can't
do anything to him, he can't do anything to us,
we're innocent, he's innocent, it's nobody's
fault, what's nobody's fault, this state
of affairs, what state of affairs, so it is,
so be it, don't worry, it will be so, what
will be so, so what, speaking talking
excitably, parched with thirst, losing
your head, seeking determinedly, seeking
no longer, seeking again, what do they
want, they want to be, this, that, they
want to me to howl, stir, emerge from
here, be born, die, listen, I'm listening,
[2206.5] it's enough not enough, I must understand,
I'm do I'm trying doing my best, I can't,
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