MS-HRC-SB-4-2-1

[0086] Thirty-seven today, sound apparently in wind ^{[place = supralinear] (he he rimes this word with mind)} and limb,
apart from my old trouble, and intellectually I have
little doubt at the peak of my powers, or thereabouts.
[0087] Celebrated the solemn ^{[place = supralinear] dreadful} occasion, as in recent years, quietly
at the Winehouse.[0088] No one ^{[place = supralinear] face} there I knew.[0089] Sat before the fire
with closed eyes separating the grain from the chaff.

[0090] Jotted
down a few notes, on the back of an envelope.[0091] It is good to
be home again, in my old things ^{[place = supralinear] rags}.[0097] The new light over ^{[place = supralinear] above} my desk ^{[place = supralinear] table}
is a great improvement.[0098] With all this darkness round me I ^{[place = inline] feel}
am less alone.[0099] (Pause.)[0100] In a way.[0101] (Pae ^{[place = overwritten] u}se.)[0102] I like to get up
and move about in it, then back here to...(hesitates)...
myself.
[0105] Pause.

[0106] The grain, what di ^{[place = overwritten] o} I mean by that, I mean...(Pause.) I
suppose I mean those things worth having when all the dust
has - when all this dust has settled.[0107] I close my eyes and
try and imagine them.
[0108] Pause.

[0110] Extraordinary silence this evening. I strain my ears and
do not hear a sound.[0111] Old Miss Williams ^{[place = supralinear] Beamish} always sings at this
hour.[0113] [⁁] ^{[place = margin left] The songs of her girlhood, she says.[⁁][←]} [0112] But not tonight.[0115] ^{[place = margin left] I admire her.}[←][0112|001] I hope nothing ^{[place = supralinear] Please Heavens nothing} has happened to her.
[0118] ^{[place = infralinear] Shall I sing when I am her age?}[0119] ^{[place = supralinear] Goodness [place = supralinear] [↑] if I ever am. [place = infralinear] Unlikely.}[0121] ^{[place = infralinear] Did I sing
as a boy?}[0122] ^{[place = infralinear] No.}[0124] ^{[place = infralinear] Did I ever sing?}[0125] ^{[place = infralinear] No.}
[0126] Pause.

[0127] I have just listened to an old year. ^{[place = overwritten] ,} [⁁] ^{[place = supralinear] passages at random.}[0128] I did not check up
in the register ^{[place = supralinear] book}, but it must be at least ten or twelve ^{[place = supralinear] or fifteen} years
ago.[0129] At that time I was living on and off with Celia ^{[place = supralinear] Furry} in
Street.[0131] ^{[place = margin left] Hopeless business.[Insert][⁁]} [0141] I must say I - (A switches off machine, broods
at length, switches on again.) - find this a great help before
embarking on a new...er....review ^{[place = supralinear] conspectus}.[0142] I find it hard ^{[place = supralinear] It is hard} to believe
that young man was I.[0143] Even t ^{[place = overwritten] T}he voice is unfamiliar ^{[place = supralinear] not mine.}.[0145] Aspirat-
ions, ^{[place = overwritten] .}

[0147] r ^{[place = overwritten] R}esolutions.[0149] To drink less, in particular.[0151] He speaks of ^{[place = supralinear] Statistics.}
[0152] s ^{[place = overwritten] S}eventeen hundred hours, out of the preceding 8 ^{[place = overwritten] e}ight thousand
odd, consumed on licensed premises alone.[0155] Plans for a fuller ^{[place = supralinear] less aspiring [place = margin left] less exhausting}
sexual life.[0156] Last illness of his father.[0157] [⁁] ^{[place = margin left] Pursuit of happiness.}[0157] ^{[place = supralinear] Flagging spasmodic pursuit of happiness.}[0163] References to his
life's work ^{[place = supralinear] magnum opus} [↓] .[0163] ^{[place = margin bottom] Shadow of the magnum opus.}[0164] Closing with a - (brief laugh) - an appeal to ^{[place = supralinear] a plea squeal}
Providence.[0165] (Prolonged laugh.)[0166] What remains of all that
lumber ^{[place = supralinear] misery}?[0167] A girl in a shabby green dress coat, on a railway-
station platform?

[0169] Pause.
[0170] When I look -[0171] (A si ^{[place = overwritten] w}w ^{[place = overwritten] i}tches off machine, broods, ^{[place = supralinear] consults looks at watch,} gets up and
goes backstage into shadows. [0172] Pause of ten seconds. [0173] Sound of
cork popping. [0174] Te ^{[place = overwritten] n} seconds. [0175] Second cork. [0176] Ten seconds. [0177] Third
cork? Te cork. [0178] Ten seconds. [0179] ^{[place = margin left] Sudden brief burst of song
(Brief burst of raucous song.)} [0183] He comes back into light from an
unexpected angle, say front right , sits down, resumes his
pose, switches on machine.) - back on the year that is gone ^{[place = inline] ,}

[0184] - back on the year that is gone ^{[place = inline] ,}