MS-HRC-SB-4-3

[0545] and the long bright days are too short for all there is to do.
[0546] And often they took advantage of the moon to make a last journey
between the fields, perhaps far away, and the barn or threshing-
floor, or to overhaul the machines and get them ready for the
impending dawn. [0547] The impending dawn.

[0548] I fell asleep. [0549] But I do not want to sleep. [0550] There is no time
for sleep in my time-table. [0551] I do not want - no, I have no ex-
planations to give. [0552] Coma is for the living. The living. [0553] Ther^y
were always more than I could bear, all, no, I don't l^mean that,
but groaning with tedium I watched them come and go, then I
killed them, or took their place, or to flight ^fled.

[0554] I feel within me
the glow of that old frenzy, but I know it will set me on fire
no more. [0555] I stop everything and wait. [0556] Sapo stands on one leg,
motionless, his strange eyes closed. [0557] The turmoil of the day
freezes in a thousand absurd postures. [0558] The little cloud drifting
before their glorious sun will darken the earth as long as I
please.

[0559] Live and invent. [0560] I have tried. [0561] I must have tried. [0562] Invent.
[0563] It is not the right^[₰] word. [0564] Neither is live. [0565] No matter. [0566] I have
tried. [0567] While within me the wild beast of earnestness padded up
and down, roaring, ravening, lacerating ^rending[⁁]. [0568] I have done that. [0569] And
all alone, well hidden, played the clown, all alone, hour after
hour, motionless, often standing, spellbound, groaning. [0570] That's
right, groan. [0571] I couldn't play. [0572] I turned till I was dizzy, clapped
my hands, ran, shouted, saw myself winning, saw myself losing,