MS-WU-MSS008-3-49

[0165] cur you meet, carry it the time needed for it to love you and you
it, then throw it away. [0166] Perhaps he had come to that, in spite of
appearances. [0167] He disappeared, his head on his chest, the smoking
object in his hand. [0168] Let me try and explain. [0169] From things about
to disappear I turn away in time. [0170] To watch them out of sight, no,
I can't do it. [0171] It was in this sense he disappeared.

[0172] Looking away
I thought of him, saying, He dwindles, dwindles. [0173] I knew what I
meant. [0174] I knew I could catch him, lame as I was. [0175] I had only to
want to. [0176] And yet no, for I did want to. [0177] To get up, to get to
the road, to set hobbling off in pursuit of him, to hail him, what
could be easier. [0178] He hears my cries, turns, waits for me. [0179] I am up
against him, up against the dog, gasping, between my crutches.

[0180] He
is a little frightened of me, a little sorry for me, [0181] I disgust him
not a little. [0182] I am not a pretty sight, I don't smell good. [0183] What
is it I want? [0184] Ah that tone I know, compounded of pity, of fear, of
disgust. [0185] I want to see the dog, see the man, at close quarters,
know what smokes, inspect the shoes, find out other things. [0186] He is
kind, tells me of this and that and other things, whence he
comes, whither he goes.

[0187] I believe him, I know it's my only chance
to — my only chance, I believe all I'm told, I've disbelieved
only too much in my long life, now I swallow everything, avidly.
[0188] What I need now is stories, it took me a long time to know that,
[0189] and I'm not sure of it.

[0190] There I am then, informed as to certain
thing^s, knowing certain things about him, things I didn't know,
things that troubled me, even things that never troubled me. [0191] What
language. [0192] I am even capable of having learnt what his profession
is, I who am so interested in professions. [0193] And to think I try my