MS-WU-MSS008-3-49

[0490] nothing, something to ^hinder you from ^{losing consciousness,}[⁁], which ^with[⁁] them
is an obsession, it is useless to recoil, [0491] they will pursue you to
the end of the earth, the vomitory in their hand. [0492] The Salvation
Army is no better.

[0493] Against the charitable gesture there is
no defence, that I know of. [0494] You sink your head, you put out your
hands all trembling and ^{twined together} and you say, Thankyou, thankyou
lady, thankyou kind lady. [0495] To him who has nothing it is forbidden
not to ^{relish filth}. [0496] The liquid overflowed, the mug rocked with a
noise of chattering teeth, not my teeth, I had no teeth, and the
sodden bread ^sagged more and more. [0497] Until, panic-stricken, I
flung it all far from me.

[0498] I did not let it fall, no, but with
a convulsive thrust of both my hands I threw it on the floor,
where it smashed to smithereens, or against the wall, far from me,
with all my strength. [0499] I will not tell what followed, for I am
weary of this place, I want to leave this place. [0500] It was late
afternoon when they told me I could go. [0501] I was advised to behave
better in future.

[0502] Conscious of my wrongs, knowing now the reasons
for my arrest, alive to my irregular situation as exposed by the
enquiry, I was surprised to find myself so soon at freedom once
again, if that is what it was, ^unpenalised.. [0503] Had I, without my
knowledge, a protector in high places? [0504] Had I, without knowing it,
favourably impressed the sergeant?

[0505] Had they succeeded in reaching
my mother and obtaining from her, or from the neighbours, partial
confirmation of my statements? [0506] Were they of the opinion that it
was useless to prosecute me^? [0507] To apply the letter of the law to a
creature like me is not an easy matter. [0508] It can be done, but reason
is against it. [0509] It is better to leave things to the police. [0510] I dont know.