Digital Manuscript ProjectNot I / Pas moi

Pause
Memory, gone, this is [place = supralinear] too a help too, I suppose,
things said before - (pause) - things said before.
Which in the normal way [place = supralinear] normally - (pause) - pain- [place = inline] irksome
ful
to hear again, things said before - (pause) -
never said before, all fresh, and new, on and
on, virgin ways, never been [place = supralinear] trod before, virgin?
Well ... for me [place = supralinear] this old whore. Yes, memory, gone, and yet
a time once, or pure fancy, pure [place = supralinear] mere fancy, when there was
dark, on and off, I went out, or just the longing [place = supralinear] mere hankering,
to be unseen, xxx [place = supralinear] oh not now, only for a time, for
there to have been a time, moments, once,
when I was unseen, and so think, be able to think,
it was not always [place = facing leaf] [ADDITION]Addition on page
15v(tears coming) ... the way it is [place = supralinear] like this, there was a time ...
moments ... when I was happy ... I was unseen ... ...
what it is ... what it was ... to be happy ...
happy? ... well ... compared with -
(Tears. End of tears. Pause.)
There is s [place = overwritten] Someone in me, trying to get out, saying
let me out, let me out, when I think of that,
inside me all xxx dark, someone there, wanting
out, into the light, poor creature, sometimes it
seems ... it seems true, I talk and talk and
hear nothing only (assumed voice, low, panting [place = supralinear] breathless),
Let me out! Let me out! (normal voice) Was I
in someone once, and where is she now, if I
was in her once, and she let me out, this these are
the kind of thoughts that keep on cropping up, [place = facing leaf] [ADDITION]Addition on page
15vthe thoughts that assail, [⁁] as I go
along, they are a help. Oh I am wearied, if the
impossible were being asked it would not be so bad.
be less hellish.
(Pause.)
Let me see now if I can remember, not (talking)
to myself, silence enough ... when you add it up [place = supralinear] work it out ... to
support ... life, what else ... memory gone, did I
say that, I take it back, and yet a time, instants of moments of ... (tears coming) ... moments
x
when ... [place = supralinear] even [place = facing leaf] [ADDITION]Addition on page
15vthen is something wanting, ah yes, no information intended ... or just fancy ... (tears resume) ... what
else ... someone in me
- Segments
Not I / Pas moi © 2022 Samuel Beckett Digital Manuscript Project.
Editors: James Little and Vincent Neyt