MS-HRC-SB-5-10

[2198.2] on the one side the outside^, on the other the inside^, that can
be as thin as foil^, I'm neither one side nor the other^, I'm, I'm
in the middle^, I'm in the ^^partition^, I've two surfaces and no
thickness^, pehrpa^aps that's what I feel^, I feel myself vibrating^,
I'm the tympanum^, on the one side the skull ^mind, on the other the
world^, I don't belong to either^, it's not to me they're talking^,
it's not of me they're talking^, [2198.3] no^, that's not it^, I feel nothing
of all that^, try something else^, herd of swine ^shites, say something

[2198.3] else^, for me to hear^, I don't know ^{[⁁] how,} for me to repeat^, I don't
know how^, what clowns they are^, to keep on saying the same thing
when they know it's not the right one^, no^, they know nothing^,
either^, they forget^, they think they change and they never change^,
they'll be there saying the same thing till they die^, then perhaps
a little silence^, to give ^till the next gang time to arrive^s on the
site^, I alone am immortal^, what can you expect^, I can't get born^,
perhaps that's their scheme ^{big idea,} to keep on saying the same thing^,

[2198.3] generation after generation^, till I lose my temper ^{go mad} and begin to
sctd^ream^, then they'll say^, He's mewled, he's bound to ^he'll rattle^, it's
mathematical^, let's get out to hell out of e^here^, there's not
point in assisting at ^{waiting for} that, oth^thers need us^, for him it's over^,
his troubles will be over^, he's saved^, we've saved him^, they're
all the same^, they all let themselves be saved^, they all let
themselves be born^, he was a tough nut^, he'll have a brilliant ^{great time, grand time,
a great} career^, in fury and remorse^, he'll never forgive himself^, and so

[2198.3] depart^, thus communing^, in Indian file^, or two by two^, along the
seashore^, now it's a seashore^, on the pebbles ^shingle, on ^along the sands^,
in the evening air^, it's evening^, that's all is known^, evening^,
shadows^, somewhere^, anywhere^, on the earth.

[2199] My temper ^{Go mad,} yes^, but
there it is^, I'll never lose it ^{what wd. I go mad with,} and evening isn't sure either^,
it needn't be evening^, dawn too bestows long shadows^, on all
that is still standing^, that's all that matters^, only the shadows
matter^, with no life of their own^, no shape and no respite^,
perhaps it's dawn^, evening of night^, it doesn't matter much^,
and so depart^, towards my brethren^, no^, none of that^, no brethren^,