MS-HRC-SB-5-10

[1654] last moment, just as I am beginning to sizzle, they go out,
smoking and hissing, and nevertheless each time my phlegm is
shattered.[1655] And i,ⁿ my head, which I am beginning to locate to
my satisfaction, above and a little to the right, the sparks spurt
and dash themselves out against the walls.

[1656] Sometimes I say to
myself that I am in a head, it's terror makes me say it, and
the lon^ging to be in safety, surrounded l^on all sides by massive
bone.[1657] And I add that I am foolish to let myself be frightened
bya by another's thoughts, lacereating my sky with harmless
gleams ^fires and assailing me with noises signifying nothing.[1658] But one
thing at a time.

[1659] And sometimes all sleeps often all sleeps, as
when I was really Worm, except this voice which has denatured
me, which never stops, but often grows confused and hesitant,
as if it were going to abandon me.[1660] But it is merely a passing
weakness, unless it is done on purpose, to teach me hope.[1661] Strange
thing, ruined as I am and still young in this abjection they
have brought me to, I sometimes seem to remember what I was like
when I was Worm, and not yet delivered into their hands.

[1662] That's
to tempt me into sat^ying, I am indeed Worm after all, and into
thinking that after all he may have become the thing that I
have become.[1663] But it doesn't come off.

[1664] But they'll devise another
means, less childish, of getting me to admit, or pretend to ad-
mit, that I am he whose name they call me by, and no other.
[1665] Or they'll wait, counting on my weariness, as they harrass ^press me ^ever
more ^harder and more ^harder, to wipe him from my memory who cannot be brought
to the pass they have brought me to, not to mention yesterday,
not to mention ^and today tomorrow.[Stet]

[1666] And yet it seems to me I re-
member, ad and shall never forget, what I was like when I was
he, before all became confused.[1667] But that is of course impossible,
since Worm could not know what he was like, or who he was, that's
the way ^how they want me to reason.[1668] And it seems to me too, which is
even more deplorable, that I could become Worm again, if only
I were left in peace.[1669] This transmission is really excellent.[1670] I
wonder if it's going to get us anywhere somewhere.If only they

[1671] If only they