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Version 01: MS-HRC-SB-5-9-3 | The place, I'll make it | nevertheless | , I'll make | in my head, I'll draw it out of my memory, I'll | draw | it | towar to | me, I'll | a | make myself a head, I'll make myself a memory, I have only to listen, the voice will tell me everything, | tell me | it will | tell it to me again, | all | I need, in | fits and starts | , breathless, it's like a confession, a last confession, you think it's finished, then it starts off again, there were so many | fau sins fau | sins, | the | memory is so bad, the words don't come, the words fail, the breath fails, no, it's something else, it's an indictment, | a morib a dying | voice accusing, accusing me, you must accuse | someone, you must find | someone, a culprit is indispensable, it speaks of my | misdeeds | , it speaks of my head, it says | it is | mine, it says | I repent, | that I repent, that I | wish | want to be punished, better than I am | being | , that I want to go, give myself up, a victim is | indispensable | , I have only to listen, it will show me my hiding-place, | it will show it to me, | what it's like, where the door is, if | there is | a door, and | where I am | whereabouts I am in it, and what | it's like outside | , what kind of country, whether it's sea, or whether it's mountain, and the | path to | follow | , so that I | can | go, | escape, give myself up, come to the place where the axe falls | without further ceremony, on all | those | who come from here, I'm not the first, I won't be the first, it will | work its will on | me in the end, it has | worked its will on others | , | she | will tell me what | I have | to do | in order to rise, | to | move, | to xx | act like a body endowed with despair, that's how I reason, | how I hear myself reasoning, | that's | all lies, it's not me | they're | calling, | it's | not me | they're | talking about, it's not yet my turn, it's someone else's turn, that's why I can't stir, that's why I don't feel a body on me, I'm not suffering | enough yet, it's not yet my turn, not | enough to be | able | to stir, to have | a body, | with a head, to understand with | complete with head, to be able to understand, to have eyes to light | my w | the way, I merely hear, without understanding, without being able to | take advantage of | wha benefit | by what I hear | to take advantage of what I | hear | to | go | , | and be done with hearing, I don't hear | all | everything, that must be it, the | important | things escape me, it's not my turn, the | the | topographical and anatomical | indications | in particular | do | not reach | me, no, I hear | everything, I must have heard | everything, what difference does it make, | as long as | it's not my turn, my turn to understand, my turn to live, my | life sentence | , it calls | that | life | , the space of the way from here to the door, it's all there, in what I hear, | somewhere, if all has been said, all this | time, all must have been said, but it's not my turn to know what, to know | x who | I am, where I am, and what I should do | xxx stop being | to stop being it, to stop being there, that's | reasonable enough | , so as to be another, no, the same, I don't know, depart into life, travel the road, find the door, find the axe, perhaps it's a cord, for the neck, for the throat, for the cords, or | fingers | , I'll have eyes, I'll see fingers, | it' | it will be the silence, perhaps it's a drop, find the door, open the door, drop, into the silence, it | won't | be | I, I'll stay here, or there, more likely there, it will | never be I | , | x that's | all been done already, said and said | x | again, the departure, the body that rises, the way, | in | in colour, the arrival, the door that opens, closes again, it was never I, I've never stirred, I've listened, I must have spoken, why deny it, why not admit it, after all | , | I deny nothing, I admit nothing, I say what I hear, I hear what I say, I don't know, one or the other, or both, that makes three possibilities, | take y | pick your fancy, all these stories about travellers, these stories about paralytics, all are mine, I must be extremely old, or it's memory playing tricks, if only I knew if | I l | I've lived, if I live, if I'll live, that would simplify everything, impossible to | know | , that's where you're buggered, I haven't | stirred | , that's all I know, no, I know | something | else, | it isn't | I, I always forget that, I resume, you must resume, | not | never stirred from here, never stopped | telling | myself | stories | , hardly hearing them, hearing something else, listening for | something | else, wondering now and then where I | xx | got them | , was | I in the land of the living, were they in mine, and where, where do I | keep | them, in my head, I don't feel a head on me, and what do I tell them with, with my mouth, same | remark | , and what do I hear them with, and so on, the | usual | rigmarole, it can't be I, or it's because I | let my | attent | I | don't pay | attention | , it's such an old habit, I do it without | minding | what I'm doing | , or as if I were | elsewhere | , | that | there I am | afar | again, | there | I am the absentee | , it's his turn | now, he who neither speaks nor listens, who has neither body nor | spirit | soul, it's something else he has, he must have something, he must be somewhere, he is made of silence, there's a pretty analysis, he's in the silence, | he is | the one to be sought, | he is | the one to be, | he | the one to speak | of | , but he | cannot | speak, then I could stop, I'd be he, I'd be the silence, I'd be | in the silence, | we'd be | united | reunited, his story the story to be told, but he has no story, he hasn't been in story, it's not certain, he's in | his | own story, | uni | unimaginable, unspeakable, that doesn't matter, the attempt must | be | made, in | my | the old stories | x | incomprehensibly mine, to find his, it must be there | , it must have been | , before | being | his, I'll recognize it, in the end I'll recognize it, the story of the silence that he never left, that I should never have left, that I may never find again, that I may find again, then it will be he, it will be I, it will be the place, the silence, the end, the beginning, the beginning again, how can I say it, that's all words, | I've nothing | else | , and not | much of that | , the words fail, the voice | falters | , so be | it | , I know | that | well, I must know that | well, it will be the silence, full of murmurs, distant cries, the | customary | silence, spent listening, spent waiting, waiting for the voice, the cries abate, like all cries, that is to say they stop, the murmurs cease, they give up, the voice begins | resumes begins | again, it begins | to try | again, quick now before there is none left, no voice left, nothing left | but the | kernel | of murmurs, distant cries, quick now and try again, with the words that remain, | try | what, | I've forgotten | I don't know, I've forgotten, | that | doesn't matter, I never knew, to have them carry me into my story, the words that remain, my old story, | that | I've forgotten, far from here, through the noise, through the door, into the silence, that must be it, it's too late, perhaps it's too late, perhaps they have, how would I know, | I'll never know, | in the silence you don't know, perhaps it's the door, perhaps I'm | before the | at the door, that would surprise me, perhaps | it is | I, | it has been I | , | somewhere or other | , I can depart, all this time I've journeyed | , | without knowing it, it's I now at the door, what door, | it's I now, no other | what's a door doing here, it's the last words, the true last, or it's the murmurs, | it's going to be | the murmurs | , I know | that well, xxx | that well, no, not even that, you talk of murmurs, distant cries, as long as you can talk, you talk of them before and you talk of them after, more lies, it will be the silence, the one that doesn't last, spent listening, spent waiting, for it to be broken, for the voice to break it, perhaps there's no other, I don't know, | it's | not worth having, that's all I know, it's not I, that's all I know, it's not mine, it's the only one I ever had, that's a lie, I must have had the other, the one that lasts, but it didn't last, I don't understand, that is to say it did, it still lasts, I'm still in it, I left myself behind | in it | there | , I'm waiting for me there, no, there you don't wait, you don't listen, | I don't know, | it's a dream, | perhaps it's | a dream, that would surprise me, I'll wake, in the silence, and | go to sleep | never | go to | sleep again, it will be I, or | dream again, dream of a silence, a dream silence, full of | murmurs | , I don't know, that's all words, never wake, | xx | all words, there's nothing else, | I | you must go on, that's all I know, | they a | they're going to stop, I know that | feeling | , | when | they are | going to abandon me, it will be the silence, for a moment, a good few moments, or it will be mine, the | one | that lasts | , that didn't last, that still lasts, it will be I, you must go on, I can't go on, you must go on, I'll go on, you must say words, as long as | there are any | , I must say | them | , until they find me, until they say me, strange pain, strange sin, you must go on, perhaps it's done already, perhaps they have said me already, perhaps they have carried me to the threshold of my story, before the door that opens on my story, that would surprise me, if it opens, it will be | me | , it will be the silence, | in the place | where I am, I don't know, I'll never know, in the silence you don't know, you must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Version 02: MS-HRC-SB-5-10 | The place, I'll make it | neverthless | , I'll make | it | in my head, I'll draw it out of my memory, I'll | draw | it | all about | me, I'll | make myself a head, I'll make myself a memory, I have only to listen , the voice will tell me everything, | it will | tell it to me again, | everything | I need, in | fits and starts | , breathless, it's like a confession, a last confession, you think it's finished, then it starts off again, there were so many | sins, | the | memory is so bad, the words don't come, the words fail, the breath fails, no, it's something else, it's an indictment, | a dtying | voice accusing, accusing me, you must accuse | someone, a culprit is indispensable, it speaks of my | misdeeds | sins | , it speaks of my head, it says | it's | mine, it says | that | that I repent, that I | want to be punished, better than I am | , that I want to go, give myself up, a victim is | indispensable | , I have only to listen, it will show me my hiding-place, | it will show it to me, | what it's like, where the door is, if | there is | a door, and | whereabouts I am in it, and what | lies between us, | what kind of country | how the land lies | , what kind of country, whether it's sea, or whether it's mountain, and the | path to | way to take | , so that I | may | go, | make my | escape, give myself up, come to the place where the axe falls | , | without further ceremony, on all | those | who come from here, I'm not the first, I won't be the first, it will | best | me in the end, it has | bested better than me | , | it | will tell me what | I have | to do | , | in order to rise, | move, | act like a body endowed with despair, that's how I reason, | that's | how I hear myself reasoning, | all lies, it's not me | they are | calling, | it's | not me | they are | talking about, it's not yet my turn, it's someone else's turn, that's why I can't stir, that's why I don't feel a body on me, I'm not suffering | enough yet, it's not yet my turn, not | enough to be | able | to stir, to have | a body, | complete with head, to be able to understand, to have eyes to light | the way, I merely hear, without understanding, without being able to | take advantage of | what I | profit by it, | by what I hear | , to | hear | do what, | to | rise and | go | and be done with hearing, I don't hear | everything, that must be it, the | ilmportant | things escape me, it's not my turn, the | topographical and anatomical | information | in particular | does | not reach | are | lost on | me, no, I hear | everything, what difference does it make, | as long as | the moment | it's not my turn, my turn to understand, my turn to live, my | turn of the lifescrew | , it calls | that | living | , the space of the way from here to the door, it's all there, in what I hear, | somewhere, if all has been said, all this | long | time, all must have been said, but it's not my turn to know what, to know | what | I am, where I am, and what I should do | to stop being it, to stop being there, that's | coherent | , so as to be another, no, the same, I don't know, depart into life, travel the road, find the door, find the axe, perhaps it's a cord, for the neck, for the throat, for the cords, or | finhgers | , I'll have eyes, I'll see fingers, | it will be the silence, perhaps it's a drop, find the door, open the door, drop, into the silence, it | won't | be | it | I, I'll stay here, or there, more likely there, it will | be | never be i | I | , | it's | all been done already, said and said | again, the departure, the body that rises, the way, | in colour, the arrival, the door that opens, closes again, it was never I, I've never stirred, I've listened, I must have spoken, why deny it, why not admit it, after all | I deny nothing, I admit nothing, I say what I hear, I hear what I say, I don't know, one or the other, or both, that makes three possibilities, | pick your fancy, all these stories about travellers, these stories about paralytics, all are mine, I must be extremely old, or it's memory playing tricks, if only I knew if | I've lived, if I live, if I'll live, that would simplify everything, impossible to | know | , that's where you're buggered, I haven't | stirred | , that's all I know, no, I know | vsomething | else, | it isn't | I, I always forget that, I resume, you must resume, | never stirred from here, never stopped | telling | myself | stories | , hardly hearing them, hearing something else, listening for | somehthing | else, wondering now and then where I | got them | from | , was | in | I in the land of the living, were they in mine, and where, where do I | keep | them, in my head, I don't feel a head on me, and what do I tell them with, with my mouth, same | remark | , and what do I hear them with, and so on, the | old | rigmarole, it can't be I, or it's because I | don't pay | attent- | pay no heed | , ion | , it's such an old habit, I do it without | minding | heeding | what I'm doing | , or as if I were | elsewhere | somewhere else | , | there I am | afar | again, | there | I am the absentee | , it's his turn | now, he who neither speaks nor listens, who has neither body nor | soul, it's something else he has, he must have something, he must be somewhere, he is made of silence, there's a pretty analysis, he's in the silence, | he is | the one to be sought, | the one to be, | the one to be spoken of, | the one to speak | , but he | can't | speak, then I could stop, I'd be he, I'd be the silence, I'd be | in the silence, | we'd be | reunited, his story the story to be told, but he has no story, he hasn't been in story, it's not certain, he's in | his | own story, | unimaginable, unspeakable, that doesn't matter, the attempt must | nbe | made, in | the old stories | incomprehensibly mine, to find his, it must be there | , it must have been | mine | , before | being | his, I'll recognize it, in the end I'll recognize it, the story of the silence that he never left, that I should never have left, that I may never find again, that I may find again, then it will be he, it will be I, it will be the place, the silence, the end, the beginning, the beginning again, how can I say it, that's all words, | I've nothing | they're all I have | else | , and not | much of that | many of them | , | , the words fail, the voice | fails | , so be | it | , I know | that | well, I must know that | well, it will be the silence, full of murmurs, distant cries, the | usual | silence, spent listening, spent waiting, waiting for the voice, the cries abate, like all cries, that is to say they stop, the murmurs cease, they give up, the voice begins | again, it begins | to try | again, quick now before there is none left, no voice left, nothing left | by | but the | kernel | core | of murmurs, distant cries, quick now and try again, with the words that remain, | try | what, | I don't know, I've forgotten, | it | doesn't matter, I never knew, to have them carry me into my story, the words that remain, my old story, | that | I've forgotten, far from here, through the noise, through the door, into the silence, that must be it, it's too late, perhaps it's too late, perhaps they have, how would I know, | I'll never know, | in the silence you don't know, perhaps it's the door, perhaps I'm | at the door, that would surprise me, perhaps | it is | I, | somewhere or other | it | has been | I | , I can depart, all this time I've journeyed | , | without knowing it, it's I now at the door, what door, | what's a door doing here, it's the last words, the true last, or it's the murmurs, | the murmurs | are coming | , I know | that well, no, not even that, you talk of murmurs, distant cries, as long as you can talk, you talk of them before and you talk of them after, more lies, it will be the silence, the one that doesn't last, spent listening, spent waiting, for it to be broken, for the voice to break it, perhaps there's no other, I don't know, | Iit's | not worth having, that's all I know, it's not I, that's all I know, it's not mine, it's the only one I ever had, that's a lie, I must have had the other, the one that lasts, but it didn't last, I don't understand, that is to say it did, it still lasts, I'm still in it, I left myself behind | there | , I'm waiting for me there, no, there you don't wait, you don't listen, | I don't know, | it's a dream, | perhaps it's | a dream, that would surprise me, I'll wake, in the silence, and | never | sleep again, it will be I, or | dream, | dream again, dream of a silence, a dream silence, full of | mutrmurs | , I don't know, that's all words, never wake, | all words, there's nothing else, | you must go on, that's all I know, | they're going to stop, I know that | well | , I can feel it | , | when | they're | going to abandon me, it will be the silence, for a moment, a good few moments, or it will be mine, the | lasting | one | , that didn't last, that still lasts, it will be I, you must go on, I can't go on, you must go on, I'll go on, you must say words, as long as | they remain | there are any | , I must say | words | , until they find me, until they say me, strange pain, strange sin, you must go on, perhaps it's done already, perhaps they have said me already, perhaps they have carried me to the threshold of my story, before the door that opens on my story, that would surprise me, if it opens, it will be | I | , it will be the silence, | where I am, I don't know, I'll never know, in the silence you don't know, you must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Version 03: MS-WU-MSS008-3-71 | The place, I'll make it | all the same | , I'll make | it | in my head, I'll draw it out of my memory, I'll | gather | it | all about | me, I'll | make myself a head, I'll make myself a memory, I have only to listen, the voice will tell me everything, | tell it to me again, | everything | I need, in | fits and starts | , | dribs and drabs | , breathless, it's like a confession, a last confession, you think it's finished, then it starts off again, there were so many | sins, | hthe | memory is so bad, the words don't come, the words fail, the breath fails, no, it's something else, it's an indictment, | a dying | voice accusing, accusing me, you must accuse | someone, a culprit is indispensable, it speaks of my | sins | , it speaks of my head, it says | it's | mine, it says | that I repent, that I | want to be punished, better than I am | , that I want to go, give myself up, a victim is | essential | , I have only to listen, it will show me my hiding-place, | what it's like, where the door is, if | there's | a door, and | whereabouts I am in it, and what | lies between us, | how the land lies | , what kind of country, whether it's sea, or whether it's mountain, and the | way to take | , so that I | may | go, | make my | escape, give myself up, come to the place where the axe falls | , | without further ceremony, on all | who come from here, I'm not the first, I won't be the first, it will | best | me in the end, it has | bested better than me | , | it | will tell me what | to do | , | in order to rise, | move, | act like a body endowed with despair, that's how I reason, | that's | how I hear myself reasoning, | all lies, it's not me | they're | calling, | not me | they're | talking about, it's not yet my turn, it's someone else's turn, that's why I can't stir, that's why I don't feel a body on me, I'm not suffering | enoygh yet | enough yet, it's not yet my turn, not | suffering | enough to be | abmle | to stir, to have | a body,,c | a body, | complete with head, to be able to understand, to have eyes to light | the way, I merely hear, without understanding, without being able to | profit by it, | by what I hear | , to | do what, | to | rise and | go | and be done with hearing, I don't hear | everything, that must be it, the | important | things escape me, it's not my turn, the | topographical and anatomical | information | in particular | is | lost on | me, no, I hear | everything, what difference does it make, | the moment | it's not my turn, my turn to understand, my turn to live, my | turn of the lifescrew | , it calls | that | living | , the space of the way from here to the door, it's all there, in what I hear, | somewhere | somewhere, if all has been said, all this | long | time, all must have been said, but it's not my turn to know what, to know | what | I am, where I am, and what I should do | to stop being it, to stop being there, that's | coherent | , so as to be another, no, the same, I don't know, depart into life, travel the road, find the door, find the axe, perhaps it's a cord, for the neck, for the throat, for the cords, or | fingers | , I'll have eyes, I'll see fingers, | it will be the silence, perhaps it's a drop, find the door, open the door, drop, into the silence, it | wont won't | be | I, I'll stay here, or there, more likely there, it will | never be I | , that's all | I | know | , | it's | all been done already, said and said | again, the departure, the body that rises, the way, | in colour, the arrival, the door that opens, closes again, it was never I, I've never stirred, I've listened, I must have spoken, why deny it, why not admit it, after all | , | I deny nothing, I admit nothing, I say what I hear, I hear what I say, I don't know, one or the other, or both, that makes three possibilities, | pick your fancy, all these stories about travellers, these stories about paralytics, all are mine, I must be extremely old, or it's memory playing tricks, if only I knew if | I've lived, if I live, if I'll live, that would simplify everything, impossible to | find out | , that's where you're buggered, I haven't | stirreed | , that's all I know, no, I know | something | else, | it's not | I, I always forget that, I resume, you must resume, | never stirred from here, never stopped | telloing | stories | , to myself | , hardly hearing them, hearing something else, listening for | something | else, wondering now and then where I | got them | from | , was | I in the land of the living, were they in mine, and where, where do I | store | them, in my head, I don't feel a head on me, and what do I tell them with, with my mouth, same | remark | , and what do I hear them with, and so on, the | old | rigmarole, it can't be I, or it's because I | pay no heed | , it's such an old habit, I do it without | heeding | , or as if I were | somewhere else | , | there I am | far | again, | tthere | I am the absentee | again | , it's his turn | again | now, he who neither speaks nor listens, who has neither body nor | soul, it's something else he has, he must have something, he must be somewhere, he is made of silence, there's a pretty analysis, he's in the silence, | he's | the one to be sought, | the one to be, | the one to be spoken of, | the one to speak | , but he | can't | speak, then I could stop, I'd be he, I'd be the silence, I'd be | back | in the silence, | wexd | we'd be | reunited, his story the story to be told, but he has no story, he hasn't been in story, it's not certain, he's in | hois | own story, | unimaginable, unspeakable, that doesn't matter, the attempt must | be | made, in | the old stories | incomprehensibly mine, to find his, it must be there | somewhere | , it must have been | mine | , before | bieng | his, I'll recognize it, in the end I'll recognize it, the story of the silence that he never left, that I should never have left, that I may never find again, that I may find again, then it will be he, it will be I, it will be the place, the silence, the end, the beginning, the beginning again, how can I say it, that's all words, | they're all I have | , and not | many of them | , the words fail, the voice | fails | , so be | I, I know it | , I know | thzat | well, it will be the silence, full of murmurs, distant cries, the | usual | silence, spent listening, spent waiting, waiting for the voice, the cries abate, like all cries, that is to say they stop, the murmurs cease, they give up, the voice begins | again, it begins | trying | again, quick now before there is none left, no voice left, nothing left | bx | but the | core | of murmurs, distant cries, quick now and try again, with the words that remain, | rtry | what, | I don't know, I've forgotten, | it | doesn't matter, I never knew, to have them carry me into my story, the words that remain, my old story, | which | I've forgotten, far from here, through the noise, through the door, into the silence, that must be it, it's too late, perhaps it's too late, perhaps they have, how would I know, | in the silence you don't know, perhaps it's the door, perhaps I'm | at the door, that would surprise me, perhaps | it's | I, | perhaps | somewhere or other | it | was | I | , I can depart, all this time I've journeyed | without knowing it, it's I now at the door, what door, | what's a door doing here, it's the last words, the true last, or it's the murmurs, | the murmurs | are coming | , I know | that well, no, not even that, you talk of murmurs, distant cries, as long as you can talk, you talk of them before and you talk of them after, more lies, it will be the silence, the one that doesn't last, spent listening, spent waiting, for it to be broken, for the voice to break it, perhaps there's no other, I don't know, | it's | not worth having, that's all I know, it's not I, that's all I know, it's not mine, it's the only one I ever had, that's a lie, I must have had the other, the one that lasts, but it didn't last, I don't understand, that is to say it did, it still lasts, I'm still in it, I left myself behind | in it | , I'm waiting for me there, no, there you don't wait, you don't listen, | perh | I don't know, | perhaps | it's a dream, | all | a dream, that would surprise me, I'll wake, in the silence, and | never | sleep again, it will be I, or | dream, | dream again, dream of a silence, a dream silence, full of | murmurs | , I don't know, that's all words, never wake, | all words, there's nothing else, | you must go on, that's all I know, | they're going to stop, I know that | fwell | , I can feel it | , | they're | going to abandon me, it will be the silence, for a moment, a good few moments, or it will be mine, the | lasting | one | , that didn't last, that still lasts, it will be I, you must go on, I can't go on, you must go on, I'll go on, you must say words, as long as | there are any | , until they find me, until they say me, strange pain, strange sin, you must go on, perhaps it's done already, perhaps they have said me already, perhaps they have carried me to the threshold of my story, before the door that opens on my story, that would surprise me, if it opens, it will be | I | , it will be the silence, | where I am, I don't know, I'll never know, in the silence you don't know, you must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Version 04: MS-1958 | The place, I'll make it | all the same | , I'll make | it | in my head, I'll draw it out of my memory, I'll | gather | it | all about | me, I'll | make myself a head, I'll make myself a memory, I have only to listen, the voice will tell me everything, | tell it to me again, | everything | I need, in | dribs and drabs | , breathless, it's like a confession, a last confession, you think it's finished, then it starts off again, there were so many | sins, | the | memory is so bad, the words don't come, the words fail, the breath fails, no, it's something else, it's an indictment, | a dying | voice accusing, accusing me, you must accuse | someone, a culprit is indispensable, it speaks of my | sins | , it speaks of my head, it says | it's | mine, it says | that I repent, that I | want to be punished, better than I am | , that I want to go, give myself up, a victim is | essential | , I have only to listen, it will show me my hiding-place, | what it's like, where the door is, if | there's | a door, and | whereabouts I am in it, and what | lies between us, | how the land lies | , what kind of country, whether it's sea, or whether it's mountain, and the | way to take | , so that I | may | go, | make my | escape, give myself up, come to the place where the axe falls | , | without further ceremony, on all | who come from here, I'm not the first, I won't be the first, it will | best | me in the end, it has | bested better than me | , | it | will tell me what | to do | , | in order to rise, | move, | act like a body endowed with despair, that's how I reason, | that's | how I hear myself reasoning, | all lies, it's not me | they're | calling, | not me | they're | talking about, it's not yet my turn, it's someone else's turn, that's why I can't stir, that's why I don't feel a body on me, I'm not suffering | enough yet, it's not yet my turn, not | suffering | enough to be | able | to stir, to have | a body, | complete with head, to be able to understand, to have eyes to light | the way, I merely hear, without understanding, without being able to | profit by it, | by what I hear | , to | do what, | to | rise and | go | and be done with hearing, I don't hear | everything, that must be it, the | important | things escape me, it's not my turn, the | topographical and anatomical | information | in particular | is | lost on | me, no, I hear | everything, what difference does it make, | the moment | it's not my turn, my turn to understand, my turn to live, my | turn of the lifescrew | , it calls | that | living | , the space of the way from here to the door, it's all there, in what I hear, | somewhere, if all has been said, all this | long | time, all must have been said, but it's not my turn to know what, to know | what | I am, where I am, and what I should do | to stop being it, to stop being there, that's | coherent | , so as to be another, no, the same, I don't know, depart into life, travel the road, find the door, find the axe, perhaps it's a cord, for the neck, for the throat, for the cords, or | fingers | , I'll have eyes, I'll see fingers, | it will be the silence, perhaps it's a drop, find the door, open the door, drop, into the silence, it | won't | be | I, I'll stay here, or there, more likely there, it will | never be I | , that's all | I | know | , | it's | all been done already, said and said | again, the departure, the body that rises, the way, | in colour, the arrival, the door that opens, closes again, it was never I, I've never stirred, I've listened, I must have spoken, why deny it, why not admit it, after all | , | I deny nothing, I admit nothing, I say what I hear, I hear what I say, I don't know, one or the other, or both, that makes three possibilities, | pick your fancy, all these stories about travellers, these stories about paralytics, all are mine, I must be extremely old, or it's memory playing tricks, if only I knew if | I've lived, if I live, if I'll live, that would simplify everything, impossible to | find out | , that's where you're buggered, I haven't | stirred | , that's all I know, no, I know | something | else, | it's not | I, I always forget that, I resume, you must resume, | never stirred from here, never stopped | telling | stories | , to myself | , hardly hearing them, hearing something else, listening for | something | else, wondering now and then where I | got them | from | , was | I in the land of the living, were they in mine, and where, where do I | store | them, in my head, I don't feel a head on me, and what do I tell them with, with my mouth, same | remark | , and what do I hear them with, and so on, the | old | rigmarole, it can't be I, or it's because I | pay no heed | , it's such an old habit, I do it without | heeding | , or as if I were | somewhere else | , | there I am | far | again, | there | I am the absentee | again | , it's his turn | again | now, he who neither speaks nor listens, who has neither body nor | soul, it's something else he has, he must have something, he must be somewhere, he is made of silence, there's a pretty analysis, he's in the silence, | he's | the one to be sought, | the one to be, | the one to be spoken of, | the one to speak | , but he | can't | speak, then I could stop, I'd be he, I'd be the silence, I'd be | back | in the silence, | we'd be | reunited, his story the story to be told, but he has no story, he hasn't been in story, it's not certain, he's in | his | own story, | unimaginable, unspeakable, that doesn't matter, the attempt must | be | made, in | the old stories | incomprehensibly mine, to find his, it must be there | somewhere | , it must have been | mine | , before | being | his, I'll recognize it, in the end I'll recognize it, the story of the silence that he never left, that I should never have left, that I may never find again, that I may find again, then it will be he, it will be I, it will be the place, the silence, the end, the beginning, the beginning again, how can I say it, that's all words, | they're all I have | , and not | many of them | , the words fail, the voice | fails | , so be | it | , I know | that | well, it will be the silence, full of murmurs, distant cries, the | usual | silence, spent listening, spent waiting, waiting for the voice, the cries abate, like all cries, that is to say they stop, the murmurs cease, they give up, the voice begins | again, it begins | trying | again, quick now before there is none left, no voice left, nothing left | but the | core | of murmurs, distant cries, quick now and try again, with the words that remain, | try | what, | I don't know, I've forgotten, | it | doesn't matter, I never knew, to have them carry me into my story, the words that remain, my old story, | which | I've forgotten, far from here, through the noise, through the door, into the silence, that must be it, it's too late, perhaps it's too late, perhaps they have, how would I know, | in the silence you don't know, perhaps it's the door, perhaps I'm | at the door, that would surprise me, perhaps | it's | I, | perhaps | somewhere or other | it | was | I | , I can depart, all this time I've journeyed | without knowing it, it's I now at the door, what door, | what's a door doing here, it's the last words, the true last, or it's the murmurs, | the murmurs | are coming | , I know | that well, no, not even that, you talk of murmurs, distant cries, as long as you can talk, you talk of them before and you talk of them after, more lies, it will be the silence, the one that doesn't last, spent listening, spent waiting, for it to be broken, for the voice to break it, perhaps there's no other, I don't know, | it's | not worth having, that's all I know, it's not I, that's all I know, it's not mine, it's the only one I ever had, that's a lie, I must have had the other, the one that lasts, but it didn't last, I don't understand, that is to say it did, it still lasts, I'm still in it, I left myself behind | in it | , I'm waiting for me there, no, there you don't wait, you don't listen, | I don't know, | perhaps | it's a dream, | all | a dream, that would surprise me, I'll wake, in the silence, and | never | sleep again, it will be I, or | dream, | dream again, dream of a silence, a dream silence, full of | murmurs | , I don't know, that's all words, never wake, | all words, there's nothing else, | you must go on, that's all I know, | they're going to stop, I know that | well | , I can feel it | , | they're | going to abandon me, it will be the silence, for a moment, a good few moments, or it will be mine, the | lasting | one | , that didn't last, that still lasts, it will be I, you must go on, I can't go on, you must go on, I'll go on, you must say words, as long as | there are any | , until they find me, until they say me, strange pain, strange sin, you must go on, perhaps it's done already, perhaps they have said me already, perhaps they have carried me to the threshold of my story, before the door that opens on my story, that would surprise me, if it opens, it will be | I | , it will be the silence, | where I am, I don't know, I'll never know, in the silence you don't know, you must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. |
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