MS-WU-MSS008-3-50-1

[0165] you catch up in yours the first mangy cur you meet, carry it the
time needed for it to love you and you it, then throw it away.
[0166] Perhaps he had come to that, in spite of appearances. [0167] He
disappeared, his head on his chest, the smoking object in his hand.
[0168] Let me try and explain. [0169] From things about to disappear I turn
away in time. [0170] To watch them out of sight, no, I can't do it.

[0171] It
was in this sense he disappeared. [0172] Looking away I thought of him,
saw^ying, He is dwindling, dwindling. [0173] I knew what I meant. [0174] I knew
I could catch him, lame as I was. [0175] I had only to want to. [0176] And yet
no, for I did want to. [0177] To get up, to get down on the road, to set
hobbling off in pursuit of him, to hail him, what could be easier.

[0178] He hears my cries, turns, waits for me. [0179] I am up against him, up
against the dog, gasping, between my crutches. [0180] He is a little
frightened of me, a little sorry for me, [0181] I disgust him not a little.
[0182] I am not a pretty sight, I don't smell good. [0183] What is it I want?
[0184] Ah that tone I know, compounded of pity, of fear, of disgust.

[0185] I want to see the dog, see the man, at close quarters, know what
smokes, inspect the shoes, find out other things. [0186] He is kind,
tells me of this and that and other things, whence he comes,
white^her he goes. [0187] I believe him, I know it's my only chance to —
my only chance, I believe all I'm told, I've disbelieved only
too much in my long life, now I swallow everything, greedily.

[0188] What I need now is stories, it took me a long time to know that,
[0189] and I'm not sure of it. [0190] There I am then, informed as to certain
things, knowing certain things about him, things I didn't know,
things I had craved to know, things I had never thought of. [0191] What
rigmarole. [0192] I am even capable of having learnt what his proff^ession