MS-WU-MSS008-3-50-2

[2681] have been driven to lie, to account for their disappearance. [2682] No, if he
could not really bear to be parted from the gems of his collection, it
would have been better ^{[place = supralinear] for him} to take the entire album. [2683] For an album is less
readily lost than a stamp. [2684] But I was a better judge than he of what he
could and could not. [2685] For I knew what he did not yet know, among other
things that this ordeal would be of profit to j ^{[place = overwritten] h}im.

[2686] Sollst entbehren, that
was the lesson I desired to impress upon him, while he was still young and
tender. [2687] Magic words which I had never dreamt, until my fifteenth year,
could be coupled together. [2688] And should this understanding ^{[place = supralinear] taking} make me odious
in his eyes and not only me, but the very idea of fatherhood, I would
pursue it none ^{[place = inline] [|]} the ^{[place = inline] [|]} less, with everything in my power.

[2689] The thought that
between my death and his own, ceasing for an instant from heaping curses
on my memory, he might wonder, in a flash, whether I had not been right,
that was enough for me, that repaid me for all the trouble I had taken and
was still to take. [2690] He would answer in the negative, the first time, and
resume his execrations. [2691] But the doubt would be sown. [2692] He would go back to
it. [2693] That was how I reasoned.

[2694] I still hax ^{[place = overwritten] d} a few hours left before dinner. [2695] I decided to make the
most of them. [2696] Because after dinner I drowse. [2697] I took off my coat and
shoes, opened my trousers and gi ^{[place = overwritten] o}t in between the sheets. [2698] It is lying
down, in the warmth, in the gloom, that I best pierce the outer turmoil's
veil, discern my quarry, sense what course to follow, find peace in
another's ludicrous distress.

[2699] Far from the world, its clamours, frenz ^{[place = overwritten] z}ies,
bitterness and dingy light, I pass judgement on it and on those, like me,
who are plunged in it beyond recall, and on him who has need of me to be
delivered, who cannot deliver myself. [2700] All is dark, but with that simple
darkness that follows like a balm upon the great dismemberings. [2701] From
their places masses move, stark as laws ^{[place = inline] .} no matter made of what. [2702] ^{[place = supralinear] Masses of what? One does not ask.} [2703] There