[p. 100r]
[4838] with a sharp ridge, and steep overhanging slopes.
[4839] I put my hand in the hive, moved it among the empty trays, felt along the bottom.
[4840] It encountered, in a corner, a dry light ball.
[4841] It crumbled under my fingers.
[4842] They had clustered together for a little warmth, to try and sleep.
[4843] I took out a handful.
[4844] It was too dark to see, I put it in my pocket.
[4845] It weighed nothing.
[4846] They had been left out all winter, their honey taken away, without sugar.
[4847] Yes, now I may make an end.
[4848] I did not go to the hen-house.
[4849] My hens were dead too, I knew they were dead.
[4850] They had not been killed in the same way, except the grey one perhaps, that was the only difference.
[4851] My bees, my hens, I had deserted them.
[4852] I went towards the house.
[4853] It was in darkness.
[4854] The door was locked.
[4855] I burst it open.
[4856] Perhaps I could have opened it, with one of my keys.
[4857] I turned the switch.
[4858] No light.
[4859] I went to the kitchen, to Martha's room.
[4860] No one.
[4861] There is nothing more to tell.
[4862] The house was deserted empty.
[4863] The company had cut off the light.
[4864] They have offered to let me have it back.
[4865] But I told them they could keep it.
[4866] That is the kind of man I have become.
[4867] I went back to the garden.
[4868] The next day I looked at my handful of bees.
[4869] A little dust of annulets and wings.
[4870] I found some letters, at the foot of the stairs, in the box.
[4871] A letter from Savory.
[4872] My son was well.
[4873] He would be.
[4874] Let us hear no more about him.
[4875] He has come back.
[4876] He is sleeping.
[4877] A letter from Youdi, in the third person, asking for a report.
[4878] He will get his report.
[4879] It is summer again.
[4880] This time a year ago I was setting out.
[4881] I am clearing out.
[4882] One day I received a visit from Gaber.
[4883] He wanted the report.
[4884] That's funny, I thought I was done with people and talk.
[4885] Call back, I said. [4886] One day I received a visit from Father Ambrose.
[4887] Is it possible! he said when he saw me.
[4888] I think he really liked me, in his own way.
[4889] I told him not to count on me any more.
[4890] He began to talk.
[4891] He was right.
[4892] Who is not right.?
[4893] I left him.
[4894] I am clearing out.
[4895] Perhaps I shall meet Molloy.
[4896] My knee is
[p. 101r]
[4896] no better.
[4897] It is no worse either.
[4898] I have crutches now.
[4899] I shall go faster, all will go faster.
[4900] They will be happy days.
[4901] I shall learn.
[4902] All there was to sell I have sold.
[4903] But I had heavy debts.
[4904] I have been a man long enough, I shall not put up with it any more, I shall not try any more.
[4905] I shall never light this lamp again.
[4906] I am going to blow it out and go into the garden.
[4907] I think of the long May days, June days, when I lived in the garden.
[4908] One day I talked to Hanna.
[4909] She gave me news of Zulu, of the Elsner sisters.
[4910] She knew who I was, she was not afraid of me.
[4911] She never went out, she disliked going out.
[4912] She talked to me from her window.
[4913] The news was bad, but might have been worse.
[4914] There was a bright side.
[4915] They were lovely days. [4916] The winter had been exceptionally rigorous, everybody said so.
[4917] We had therefore a right to this superb summer.
[4918] I do not know if we had a right to it.
[4919] My birds had not been killed.
[4920] They were wild birds.
[4921] And yet quite trusting.
[4922] I recognized them and they seemed to recognize me.
[4923] But one never knows.
[4924] Some were missing and some were new.
[4925] I tried to understand their language better.
[4926] Without having recourse to mine.
[4927] They were the longest, loveliest days of all the year.
[4928] I lived in the garden.
[4929] I have spoken of a voice telling me things.
[4930] I was getting to know it better now, to understand what it wanted.
[4931] It did not use the words that Moran had been taught when he was little and that he in his turn had taught to his little one.
[4932] So that at first I did not know what it wanted.
[4933] But in the end I understood this language.
[4934] I understood it, I understand it, all wrong perhaps.
[4935] That is not what matters.
[4936] It told me to write thise report.
[4937] Does this mean I am freer now than I was?
[4938] I do not know.
[4939] I shall learn.
[4940] Then I went back into the house and wrote, It is midnight.
[4941] The rain is beating on the windows.
[4942] It was not midnight.
[4943] It was not raining.