MS-UoR-1477-10

[0015] that time you went back that last time to look was the
ruin still there where you hid as a child when was that ^{(eyes close) grey day dull morning}
took the eleven to the end of the line and on from there
no no trams then all gone long ago that time you went back
to look was the ruin still there where you hid as a child
not a tram left in the place only the old rails when was
that

[0018] straight off the ferry and up with the nightbag to
the high street neither right nor left not a curse for the
old scenes the old names straight up the rise from the wharf
to the high street and there not a wire to be seen only the
old rails all rust when wás that was your mother still ah
for God's sake all gone long ago that time you went back to
look was the ruin still there where you hid as a child
someone's folly

[0021] Foley was it Foley's Folly bit of a tower
still stanx^ding all the rest rubble and nettles where did you
sleep no friend all the homes gone was it that kip on the
front where you nos no she was with you then still with you
then just the one night in any case off the ferry one morning

[0021] and back on her the next to look was the ruin still there
where none ever came where you hid as a child slip off when
no one was looking and hide there all day ^long on a stone among
the nettles with y[i]^our picture-book

[0025] or talking to yourself
out loud who else out loud imaginary conversations there was
childhood for you ten or eleven on a stone among the giant
nettles making it up now one voice now another till you were
hoarse and they all sounded the same well on into h^the night
some moods in the ^black dark or moonlight and they all out on the
roads looking for you

[0032] that time you went back to look was the
ruin still there where you hid as a child straight off the
ferry and up to the high street to catch the eleven neither
right nor left only one thought in your head not a curq^se for
the old scenes the old names just head down press on up the
rise to the top and stood there waiting with the nightbag
till the truth began to dawn

[0035] no getting out to it that way so
what next no question of as[;]^king not another word to the living
as long as you lived so foot it up in the end to the station
bowed half double get out to it that way all closed down and
boarded up Doric terminus of the Great Southern and Eastern
all closed down and the colonnade crumbling away so what next

[0038] gave it up gave up and sat down on the steps in the pale
morning sun no those [w]^steps got no sun somewhere else then
gave up and off somewhere else and down on a step in the pale
sun a doorstep say someone's doorstep for it to be time to
get on the night ferry and out to hell out of there no need
sleep anywhere not a curse for the old scenes the old names
the passers pausing to gape at you like something out of
Beckett quick gape then pass on pass by on th[d]^e other side

[0041] huddled on the doorstep in the old green greatcoat in the
pale sun with the nightbag needless on your knees not knowing
where you were little by little not knowing where you were or
when you were or what for place might have been deserted for
all you knew like that time on the stone where none ever came

[0046] none ever came but the child on the stone among the giant
nettles with the light coming in when the wall had fallen