Digital Manuscript ProjectL'Innommable / The Unnamable

[0479] a moment worthier than grey to enfold me.[0480] What rubbish
all this stuff about light and dark.[0481] And how I have
wallowed in it.[0482] But do I roll, in the manner of a true ball? Or am I in
equilibrium somewhere, on one of my numberless poles?[0483] I
feel strongly tempted to enquire .[0484] What a reams I
could elicit from this apparently so legitimate preoccupation.
[0480] What rubbish
all this stuff about light and dark.[0481] And how I have
wallowed in it.[0482] But do I roll, in the manner of a true ball? Or am I in
equilibrium somewhere, on one of my numberless poles?[0483] I
feel strongly tempted to enquire .[0484] What a reams I
could elicit from this apparently so legitimate preoccupation.
[0481] And how I have
wallowed in it.[0480] What rubbish
all this stuff about light and dark.[0482] But do I roll, in the manner of a true ball? Or am I in
equilibrium somewhere, on one of my numberless poles?[0483] I
feel strongly tempted to enquire .[0484] What a reams I
could elicit from this apparently so legitimate preoccupation.
[0485] But which would not be credited to me.[0486] No, between me and
the right to silence, to rest before I end, stretches the same old
lesson, the one I knew by heart and would not say, I don't
know why, perhaps for fear of silence , or thinking any old
thing would do, and so lies for preference, in order to re-
main hidden ,[0487] no importance.[0488] But now I shall say my lesson, if
I can remember it.
[0489] Under the skies, on the roads, in the towns,
in the woods, in the hills, in the plains, by the shores,
on the sea, behind my mannikins, I was not always sad,
wasted my time, abjured my rights, suffered for nothing, for-
got my lesson. [Stet] [0490] Then a little hell after my own heart, not too cruel, with
a few nice damned to hang foist my groans on, something sighing off
and on and the distant gleams of pity's fires biding
their hour to promote us to ashes.
[0491] I speak, speak, because I
must, but I do not listen, I seek my lesson, my life I
used to know and would not confess, whence possibly an
occasional slight lack of limpidity.[0492] And perhaps now
again I shall do no more than seek my lesson, and never
say it, to the self-accompaniment of a tongue that is
not mine.
[0493] But instead of saying what I should not have
said, and what I shall say no more, if I can, and what I shall say
perhaps, if I can, should I not rather say some other
thing, even though it is not yet the right thing?[0494] I'll [Stet]
try, I'll try in another present, even though it be not
yet mine, without pauses, without tears, without eyes, with-
out reasons.
[0495] Let it be assumed [Stet] then that I am at rest, though it's unimportant
, at rest or never still, through the
air or in contact with other surfaces, or that I sometimes
move, sometimes rest, since I feel nothing, neither quietude
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L'Innommable / The Unnamable © 2013 Samuel Beckett Digital Manuscript Project.
Editors: Dirk Van Hulle, Shane Weller and Vincent Neyt