MS-HRC-SB-5-10

[0466] out, with my eyes my hair, without leaving a trace, fallen so
far so deep that I heard nothing, perhaps are falling still,
my hair slowly like soot still, of the fall of my ears heard
nothing.[0467] No need, I feel my mean soul still, [⁁]^{Mean words, and needless, from the mean old spirit,} I invented love,
music, the smell of flowering currant, to escape from me.

[0468] Oe^rgans, a without, it's ^it's easy to imagine, others, a g^God, it's
unavoidable, you imagine them, it's easy, the trouble dies ^{worst is dulled,}
away, you doze away, an instant.[0469] Yes, God, fomenter of calm, I n
never believed, not an instant.[0470] I shall make no more pauses
either.[0471] Can I keep nothing then, nothing of what has carried ^borne
my poor thouhgts , bent beneath my words, while I hid?

[0472] I shall ^I'll
dry thes e these streaming sockets too, bung them ^[⁁]up, there, it's
done, no more tears, I'm a book ^big talking ball, talking about
things that do not exist, or that exist perhaps, that is ^{impossible to know,} not
beside the point.[0473] Ah yes, quick let me change my tune.[0474] And after
all why a ball, rather than something else, and why big?

[0475] Why
not a cylinder, a small cylinder?[0476] An egg, a medium-sized egg?
[0477] No no, that's the old nonsense, I always knew I was round, solid
and round, without daring to say so, smooth and whole ^{no asperities,}, no apert- ^openings
ures, invisible perhaps, or as vast as Sirius in the Great Dog,
these expressions mean nothing.

[0478] All that matters is for me to ^{that I am}
be hard[ ²] and round[ ¹], there are certainly ^{must be} reasons for that, for
my being hard[ ²] and round[ ¹] rather than of some irregular shape and
liable ^subject to the dents and bulges caused by the various kinds of ^{incident to shock}
collision, but I have done with reasons.All the rest can be ^{I renounce}
discarded, including this ridiculous black which I thought for
a moment worthier than grey to enfold me.

[0479] All the rest can be ^{I renounce}
discarded, including this ridiculous black which I thought for
a moment worthier than grey to enfold me.