MS-HRC-SB-5-10

[1048] [^/] quittance until they have abandoned me as inutilizable, and re-
stored me to myself.[1049] Then at last I can set about saying what I
was, and where, during all this ^long lost time.[1050] But who is he^, who is
waiting for [^/]that^, from me^? if my guess is right [1051] And who those others
whose designs are so different?[1052] And into whose hands I play
when I ask ^myself such ^questions.[1053] ^{[⁁] But do I?}[1054] In my jar did I ask m^yself questions?

[1055] And in the ^arena?[1056] I have dwindled.[1057] I dwindle.[1058] Not so long ago,
with a kind of shrink of my head and shoulders, as when one
is scolded, I could disappear.[1059] Soon, at ^my present rate of
decreas^e, I may spare myself this effort.[1060] And spare myself the
trouble of closing my eyes, so as not to see the light, for they
are blinded by the jar, a few inches away.

[1061] And I have only to let
my haed fall for^ward against the wall to be sure that the light
from ^{[⁁] above}, which at night is that of the moon, will not be reflected
there either, in those pretty little blue mirrors, I used to look
at myself in them, to ^{try and enliven} them.[1062] Wrong again, wrong again,
this effort and this trouble will not be spared me.

[1063] For the woman,
displeased at seeing me sink lower and lower, has raised me up by
filling the bottom of my jar with sawdust which she changes every
week, when she makes my toilet.[1064] It ^is softer than the stone, but
less hygienic.[1065] And I had got used to the stone.[1066] Now I am getting
used to the sawdust.[1067] It's an occupation.

[1068] I could never bear to be
idle, it saps ^{one's energy}.[1069] And I open and close my eyes, open
and close, as in the past.[1070] And I move my head in and out, in and
out, as ^heretofore.[1071] And notably at dawn I often bring it in, after
having left it out all night, and this with a very definite pur-
pose in view, namely to taunt the woman and lead
her astray.

[1072] For in the morning, when she has rattled up her
[^| ]shutters (rideau), the first look of her eyes still moist with love
and sleep is for the jar.[1073] And when she does not see m^y head
she takes alarm and comes running to ^{find out} what has happened.For one
of two things has happened, either I have escaped during the night

[1074] For one
of two things has happened, either I have escaped during the night