[p. 45v] DOODLE 85
DOODLE 86
DOODLE 87
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[p. 46r] rending cries, inarticulate murmurs,
to be invented, as I go along, improvised, as I groan along, I'll
laugh, that's how it will end,
with chuckling, chuck chuck, ow, ha,
pah, I'll practise, nyum, hoo, plop,
pss, nothing but emotion, bing,
bang, that's blows, ow, ay, what else,
ooh, aah, that's love, enough, it's tiring,
hee, that's the ribs, of Democritus,
no, the other, in the end, it's the end,
the ending end, it's the silence, a few
gurgles on the silence, the real silence,
not the one where I macerate, up to
the mouth, up to the ear, which
covers, uncovers me, breathes with me,
like a cat with a mouse, that of the
drowned, [2326.3] I've drowned, more than
once, it wasn't I, I've choked
myself, set fire to me, beaten on my
head with wood and iron, it wasn't I,
there was no head, no iron, I didn't
do anything to myself, I didn't do
anything to anyone, no one
did anything to me, there is no one,
there is no wood, I've looked, there is
only I, no, not I either, I've looked
everywhere, there must be someone,
this voice must belong to someone,
that's
all right with me, what it wants I want,
I am it, I've said so, it says so,
from time to time it says so, then it
says not, that's all right with me, I
want it to go silent, it wants to go
silent, it can't, it does for a second,
then it starts again, that's not
the real silence, it says that's not the
real silence, what
can be said of the real silence, I don't
know, that I don't know what it is,
that there's no such thing, that perhaps
there is such a thing, yes, that perhaps
there is, somewhere, I'll never know. [2327]
But when it falters and when it stops,
but it falters every instant, it stops
every instant, yes, but when it stops
for a good few moments, a good few
moments, what are a good few
moments, murmurs,
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