MS-WU-MSS008-3-50-2

[3365] I have no intention of relating the various adventures which befell
us, me and my son, together and singly, before we came to the Molloy
country. [3366] It would be tedious. [3367] But that is not what stops me. [3368] All is
tedious, in this relation that is laid ^forced upon me. [3369] But I shall conduct it
in my own way, up to a point.

[3370] And if it has not the good fortune to give
satisfaction, to my employer, if there are passages that give offence to
him and to his colleagues, then so much the worse for us all, for them all,
for there is no worse for me. [3371] That is to say, I have not enough
imagination to conceive ^imagine it. [3372] And yet I have more than before. [3373] And if I
submit to this paltry scrivening which is not in ^of my province, it is for
reasons very different from those that might be thought ^supposed.

[3374] I am still
obeying orders, if you like, but no longer out of fear. [3375] No, I am still
afraid, but simply from force of habit. [3376] And the voice I listen to needed^[⁁]s
no Gaber to make it heard. [3377] For it is within me and exhorts me to continue
to the end the faithful servant I have always been, of a cause that is not
mine, and patiently fulfil in all its bitterness my calamitous part, as it
was my will, when I had a will, that others should.

[3378] And this with hatred
in my heart, and scorn, of my master and his designs. [3379] Yes, it is rather
an ambiguous voice and not always easy to follow, in its reasonings and
decrees. [3380] But I follow it none^[|] the^[|] less, more or less, I follow it in this
sense, that I know what it means, and in this sense, that I do what it
tells me.

[3381] And I do not think there are many voices of which as much may
be said. [3382] And I fel^eel ^feel I shall follow it ^{[⁁]from this day} henceforth, no matter what it
commands. [3383] And when it ceases, leaving me in doubt and darkness, I shall
wq^ait for it to come back, and do nothing, even though the whole world,
through the channl^el of its innumerable authorities speaking with one
accord, should enjoin upon me this and that, under pain of unspeakable
punishments. [3384] But this evening, this morning, I have drunk a little more