MS-UoR-1477-7

[0021] Foley was it Foley's Folly bit of a tower still standing all
the rest rubble and nettles where did you sleep no friend all
the homes gone was it that kip on the front where you no she
was with you then still with you then just the one night in any
case off the ferry one mi^orning and back on her the next to look
was the ruin still there where none ever came where you hid as
a child slip off when no one was looking and hide there all day
long on a stone among the nettles with your picture-book

[0022] till you lifted ^hoisted your head and there before your eyes when they
opened a vast oil black with age and dirt someone famous in his
time some famous man or woman or even child such as a young
prince or princess some young prince or princess of the blood
black with age behind the glass where gradually as you peered
trying to make it out gradually of all things a face appeared
had you swivel on the slab to see who it was there at your elbow

[0023] on the stone in the sun gazing at the wheat or the sky or the
eyes closed nothing to be seen but the wheat turning yellow and
the blue sky vowing every now and then you loved each other ^{just a murmur} tears
without fail till they dried up altogether suddenly there in what(
whe^atever thoughts you might be having whe^atever scenes perhaps way
back in childhood or the womb worst of all or that old Chinaman
long before Christ bron with long white hair

[0024] never the same after that never quite the same but that was nothing
new if it wasn't this it was that commong occurrence something you
could never be the same after crawling around year after year sunk
in your lifelong mess muttering to yourself who else you'll never
be the same after this you were never the same after that

[0025] or talking to yourself who esle else out loud imaginary conversatioxⁿs
there was childhood for you ten or eleven on a stone among the giant
nettles making it up now one voice now another till you were hoarse
and they all sounded the same well on into the night some moods in
the black dark or moonlight and they all out on the roads looking
for you

[0026] or by the window in the dark harking to the owl not a thought in
your head till hard to believe harder and harder to believe you
ever told anyone you loved them onr anyone you till just one of
those things you kept making up to keep the void out just another
of those old tales to keep the void from pouring in on top of you
the shroud

[0030] never the same but the same as what for God's sake did you ever
say I to yourself in your life come on now (eyes close) could you
ever say I to yourself in your life turing-point turning-point
that was a great word with you before they dried up altogether
always having turning-points and never but the one the first and
last that time curled up worm in slime when they lugged you out
and wiped you off and straightened you up never another after that
never looked back after that was that the time or was that another
time