MS-HRC-SB-4-2-4

[0184] her long viduity (Krapp gives a start,⁾, and the -[0185] (Krapp
switches off, winds back tape a little, bends his ear closer
to machine, switches on)[0186] - a-daying, in the early autumn, after
her long viduity, and the -[0187] (Krapp switches off, raises his
head, stares blankly before him. [0188] His lips move in the syllables
of viduity "viduity". [0189] No sound.

[0190] He gets up, goes backstage
into darkness, comes back with an enormous dictionary, sits
down, lays it on the table, looks up the word^.,⁾ reads (quotes
definition if possible), nods, closes dictionary, switches on,
resumes pose.)

[0207] - bench by the weir from where I could see her
window.[0208] There I sat, wishing she were gone.[0209] (Pause.)[0210] Deserted
spot it was, just a few ref^gulars, nursemaids, infants, i^old men,
dogs, I got to know them quite well - oh by appearance of course
I mean![0211] One dark young beauty I recollect particularly, all
white and starch, incomparable bosom, with a big black hooded
pram ^perambulator, most funereal thing.

[0212] Whenever I looked in her direction
she had her eyes on me.[0213] And yet when I was rash enough to
speak to her, ^- not having been introduced, ^- she threatened to
call a policeman.[0216] (Pause.)[0217] The eye The face she had![0218] The eys!
eyes![0219] Like...(hesitates)...moonstone ^chrysolite![0220] (Pause.)[0221] [⁁] ^{Ah well...}[0222] ^(Pause.)

[0223] I was there
when - (Krapp switches off, broods, switches on again) - thea
the blind went down, one of those dirty brown roller affairs,
throwing a ball for a wire-haired fox^-terrier bitch, as chance
would have it.[0224] I happened to look up and there it was.[0225] All over
and done with, at last.[0226] I sat on for a few moments with the
ball in my hand and the bitch ^dog yelping and pawing at me.[0227] (Pause.)

[0228] Moments.[0228|001] (Pause.)[0229] Her moments. My moments.[0230] (Pause.)[0231] The bithc
bitch's ^dog's moments.[0232] (Pause.)[0233] In the end I held it out to her ^him and
she ^he took it in her ^his mouth, gently.[0234] A small, old, black, solid
rubber ball.[0235] (Pause.)[0236] I shall feel it, in my hand, until my
dying day.[0237] (Pause.)[0238] I wish I had [⁁] ^{might have} kept it.[0239] (Pause.)[0240] But I gave
it to the bitch ^dog.

[0241] Pause.
[0242] Ah well...
[0243] Pause.
[0244] Spiritually a year of profound gloom and indigence, until that
memorable night in March, at the end of the jetty, in the howl-
ing wind, never to be forgotten, when suddenly I saw the whole
thing.[0245] The vision, at last.

[0246] This I imagine is what I have
chiefly to record this evening, against the day when my work
will be done and perhaps no place left in my memory, nor no
warm ^{or cold} place, for the miracle that...(hesitates)...for the fire
that set it alight.[0247] What I suddenly saw then was this, that the
belief I had been going on all my life, namely -[0248] (Krapp switches
off impatiently, winds tape forward, switches on)

[0249] - granite
great granite rocks the foam flying up in the light of the
beacon and the windgauge spinning like a propellor, clear to
me at last that the dark I have always struggled to keep under
is in reality my most -[0250] (Krapp curses, switches off, winds tape
forward,switches on again)[0251] - unshatterable association until my
...(hesitates)...dissolution of storm and night with the light
of the understanding and the -(Krapp curses louder, switches

[0252] (Krapp curses louder, switches