MS-HRC-SB-4-3

[2254] then mixture of Macmann and agony as long as possible. [2255] It does
not depend on me, my lead ⁱs not inexhaustible, nor my exercise-
book, nor Macmann, nor myself in spite of appearances. [2256] That all
may be wiped out at the same instant is all I ask, for the moment.
[2260] The visit. [2261] I felt a violent blow on the head. [2262] He had
perhaps been there for some time. [2263] One does not care to be kept
waiting for ever, one draws attention to oneself as best one can,
it's human. [2264] I don't doubt he gave me due warning, before he hit me.

[2265] I don't know what he wanted. [2266] He's gone now. [2267] What an idea, all the
same, to hit me on the head. [2268] The light has been queer ever since,
oh I insinuate nothing, dim and at the same time radiant, perhaps
I have concussion. [2269] His mouth opened, his lips worked, but I heard
nothing. [2270] He might just as well have said nothing. [2271] And yet I am
not deaf^, witness the aeroplane, if I hear nothing it is because
there is nothing to hear.

[2272] But perhaps life has dulled my irritabil-
ity to specifically human sounds. [2273] I myself for example make no
sound, well well, can't go back on it now, no, not the tiniest.
[2274] And yet I pant, cough, moan and gulp right up against ^my ear, I
could swear to it. [2275] In other words I ^do not know ^to what I owe the
honour ^[₰]. [2276] He seemed vexed. [2277] Must I describe him? [2278] Why not? [2279] He may
be important. [2280] I had a clear view of him.

[2281] Black suit of antiquated
cut, or perhaps come back into the fashion, black tie, snow-white
shirt, heavily starched clown's cu^ffs almost entirely covering
the hands, oily black hair, a long, dismal, glabrous, floury face,
sombre lacklustre eyes, medium height and build, block-hat pressed
delicately to stomach with finger-tips, then without warning in a
gesture of extraordinary suddenness and precision slapped on skull.