MS-HRC-SB-4-3

[1239] Nicholson and Watson, all whoresons. [1240] I then tried, for a space,
to lay hold of a kindred sprit among the inferior races, red,
yellow, chocolate, and so on. [1241] And if the plague-stricken had been
less difficult of access I would have intruded on them too,
ogling, sidling, leering, ineffing and coanting^[  ] , my heart pal-
pitating. [1242] With the insane too I failed, by a hair's-breadth.
[1243] That must have been the way with me then. But the point is rather
what is the way with me now.

[1244] When young the old filled me with
wonder and awe. [1245] Bawling babies are what dumbfound me now. [1246] The
house is full of them finally. [1247] Suave mari magno, especially for
the old salt. [1248] What tedium. [1249] And I thought I had it all thought
out. [1250] If I had the use of my body I would throw it out of the
window. [1251] But perhaps it is the knowledge of my impotence that
emboldens me to that thought. [1252] All hangs togety^her, I am in
chains.

[1253] Unfortunately I do not know quite what floor I am on,
perhaps I am only on the mezzanine. [1254] The doors banging, the steps
on the stairs, the noises of the street, have not enlightened
me, on this subject. [1255] All I know is that the living are there, above
me and beneath me. [1256] It follows that I a at least I am not in the
basement. [1257] Q^And do I not sometimes see the sky and, through my
window, other windows facing it apparently?

[1258] But that proves noth-
ing.^, [1259] I do not wish to prove anything. [1260] Or so I say. [1261] Perhaps after
all I am in a kind of vault and this space which I take to be the
street in reality no more than a wide trench or ditch with other
vaults opening upon it. [1262] But the noises that rise up from below,
the steps that coming^e climbing towards me? [1263] Perhaps there are other
vaults even deeper than mine, [1264] why not? [1265] In which case the question