MS-WU-MSS008-3-49

[1840] else, and then went silent, leaving me on the rocks. [1841] So I knew my
imperatives well, and yet I submittee^d to them. [1842] It had become a habit.
[1843] It is true they nearly all bore on the same question, that of my relations
with my mother, and on the need to bring as soon as possible some light
to bear on them and even on the kind of light that should be brought to
bear and the most effective means of doing so.

[1844] Yes, these imperatives
were quite explicit, and even detailed until having set me in motion at
last they g^began to falter, an^then went silent, leaving me there like a
fool who neither knows where he is going nor why he is going there.
[1845] And they nearly all bore, as I may have said already, on the same painful
and thorny question. [1846] And I do not think I could mention even one having
a different purport.

[1847] And the one enjoining me then to leave the forest
without delay was in no[x]way different from those I was used to, as to its
meaning. [1848] For in its framing I thought I noticed something new. [1849] For after
the habitual blarney there followed this solemn warning, Perhaps it is
already too late. [1850] It was in Latin, nimis sero, I think that's Latin.
[1851] Charming things, hypothetical imperatives. [1852] But if I had never succeeded
in liquidi^ating this matter of my mother, the fault must not be imputed
solely to that voice which deserted me, prematurely.

[1853] It had its share
in the blame, that's all it can be reproached with. [1854] For the outer world
opposed my succeeding too, with its wiles, I have given you some examples
of them. [1855] And even if the voice could have harried me to the very scene
of action, even then I might well have sucf^ceeded no better, because of
the other obstacles barring my way.

[1856] And in this command which faltered,
then died, it was hard not to hear the unspoken entreaty, Don't do it,
Molloy. [1857] In forever reminding me thus of my duty was its purpose to show
me the follo^y of it? [1858] Perhaps. [1859] Fortunately it did no more than exhort,
the better to mock if you like, an innate velleity. [1860] And of myself,