[1840] else, and then went silent, leaving me [⁁]stranded.
[1841] So I knew my
imperatives well, and yet I submitted to them.
[1842] It had become a habit.
[1843] It is true they nearly all bore on the same question, that of my relations
with my mother, and on the [⁁]importance of bringing as soon as possible some light
to bear on [⁁]these and even on the kind of light that should be brought to
bear and the most effective means of doing so.
[1844] Yes, these imperatives
were quite explicit [₰] and even detailed until, having set me in motion at
last, they began to falter, then went silent, leaving me there like a
fool who neither knows where he is going nor why he is going there.
[1845] And they nearly all bore, as I may have said already, on the same painful
and thorny question.
[1846] And I do not think I could mention even one having
a different purport.
[1847] And the one enjoining me then to leave the forest
without delay was in noway different from those I was used to, as to its
meaning.
[1848] For in its framing I thought I noticed something new.
[1849] For after
the [⁁]usual blarney there followed this solemn warning, Perhaps it is
already too late.
[1850] It was in Latin, nimis sero, I think that's Latin.
[1851] Charming things, hypothetical imperatives.
[1852] But if I had never succeeded
in liquidating this matter of my mother, the fault must not be imputed
solely to that voice which deserted me, prematurely.
[1853] It was partly to
[⁁]blame, that's all it can be reproached with.
[1854] For the outer world
opposed my succeeding too, with its wiles, I have given some examples.
[1855] And even if the voice could have harried me to the very scene
of action, even then I might well have succeeded no better, because of
the other obstacles barring my way.
[1856] And in this command which faltered,
then died, it was hard not to hear the unspoken entreaty, Don't do it,
Molloy.
[1857] In forever reminding me thus of my duty was its purpose to show
me the folly of it?
[1858] Perhaps.
[1859] Fortunately it did no more than stress,
the better to mock if you like, an innate velleity.
[1860] And of myself,
- Segments
Molloy © 2016 Samuel Beckett Digital Manuscript Project.
Editors: Magessa O'Reilly, Dirk Van Hulle, Pim Verhulst and Vincent Neyt