MS-WU-MSS008-3-50-2

[2595] sole purpose of fostering our illusion, if it was one. [2596] All this is not
very clear.

[2597] That we thought of ourselves as members of a vast organization was
doubtless also due to the all too human feeling that trouble shared, or is
it sorrow, is trouble something, I forget the word. [2598] But to me at least,
who knew how to listen to the falsetto of reason, it was obvious ^[⁁]that we were
perhaps alone in doing what we did. [2599] Yes, in my moments of lucidity I
thought it po^ssible. [2600] And, to keep nothing from you, this lucidity was so
acute at times that I came even to doubt the existence of Gaber himself.

[2601] And if I had not hastily sunk back into my darkness I might have gone to
the ^[⁁]extreme of conjuring away the chief too and regarding myself as solely
responsible for my wretched existence. [2602] For I knew I was wretched, at six
pounds ten a week plus bonuses and expenses. [2603] And having made away with
Gaber and the chief (one Youdi)^, could I have ^denied myself the pleasure
of — you know. [2604] But I was not made for the great light that devours, a
dim lamp was all I had been given, and patience without end, to shine it
on the empty shadows. [2605] I was a solid in the midst of other solids.

[2606] I went down to the kitchen. [2607] I did not expect to find Martha there,
but I found her there. [2608] She was sitting in her rocking-chair, in the
chimney-corner, rocking herself moodily. [2609] This rocking chair, she would
have you believe, was the only possession to which she clung and she would
not have parted with it for an empire. [2610] It is interesting to note that she
had installed it not in her room, but in the kitchen, in the chimney-corner.

[2611] Late to bed and early to rise, it was in the kitchen that she benefited
^by it most. [2612] The wage-payers are numerous, and I was one of them, who do
not like to see, in the place set aside for toil, the furniture of
reclining and repose. [2613] The servant wishes to rest? [2614] Let her retire to her
room. [2615] In the kitchen^[₰] all must be of wood, white and ^[⁁]rigid. [2616] I