
[3110] me cannot forget, in his evasions, what it is he evades.
[3111] I went down to
the garden and moved about in the almost total darkness.
[3112] If I had not
known my garden so well I would have blundered into my shrubberies, or my
bee-hives.
[3113] My cigar had gone out without my knowledge [place = supralinear] [⁁]unnoticed.
[3114] I shook it and
put it in my pocket, intending to discard it in the ash-tray, or in the
waste-paper basket, later on.
[3115] But the next day, far from Turdy, I found
it in my pocket and indeed not without satisfaction.
[3116] For I was able to
get a few more puffs [place = supralinear] [⁁]out of from it.
[3117] To discover the cold cigar between my teeth,
to spit it out, to search for it in the dark, to pick it up, to wonder
what I should do with it, to shake off the ash [place = supralinear] it needlessly and put it in my pocket,
to conjure up the sh [place = overwritten] ash-tray and the waste-paper basket, these were merely
the principal stages of a sequence which I spun out for a quarter of an
hour at least.
[3118] Others concerned the dog Zulu, the perfumes sharpened
tenfold by the rain, [place = margin left] [₰] and whose sources I amused myself exploring, in my
head and with my hands, a neighbour's light, another's noise, and so on.
[3119] My son's window was faintly lit.
[3120] He liked sleeping with a night-light
beside him.
[3121] I sometimes felt it was wrong of me to let him humour this
weakness.
[3122] Until quite recently he could not sleep unless he had his
woolly bear to hug.
[3123] When he had forgotten the bear (Baby Jack) I would
forbid the night-light.
[3124] What would I have done that day without my son
to distract me?
[3125] My duty perhaps.
[3126] Finding my spirits as low in the garden as in the house, I turned to
go in, saying to myself it was one of two things, either my house had
nothing to do with the kind of nothingness in the midst of which I
stumbled or else the whole of my little property was to blame.
[3127] To adopt
this latter hypothesis was to condone what I had done and, in advance,
what I was to do, pending my departure.
[3128] It brought me a semblance of
pardon and a brief moment of factitious freedom.
[3129] I therefore ae [place = overwritten] dopted it.
- Segments
Molloy © 2016 Samuel Beckett Digital Manuscript Project.
Editors: Magessa O'Reilly, Dirk Van Hulle, Pim Verhulst and Vincent Neyt