
[4509] Gaber, Gaber, he said —.
[4510] Louder! I cried.
[4511] He said to me, said Gaber,
Gaber, he said, life is a thing of beauty, Gaber, and a joy for ever.
[4512] He
brought his face nearer mine.
[4513] A joy for ever, he said, a thing of beauty,
Moran, and a joy for ever.
[4514] He smiled.
[4515] I closed my eyes.
[4516] Smiles are [⁁]all very
nice in their own way, very heartening, but at a reasonable distance.
[4517] I
said, Do you think he meant human life?
[4518] I listened.
[4519] Perhaps he didn't
mean human life, I said.
[4520] I opened my eyes.
[4521] I was alone.
[4522] My hands were
full of grass and earth I had torn up untwittingly, was still tearing up.
[4523] I was literally uprooting.
[4524] I desisted, yes, the second I realized what
I had done, what I was doing, such a nasty thing, I desisted from it, I
opened my hands, they were soon empty.
[4525] That night I set out for home.
[4526] I did not get far.
[4527] But it was a
start.
[4528] It is the first step that counts.
[4529] The second counts less.
[4530] Each
day saw me advance a little further.
[4531] That last sentence is not clear,
it does not say what I hoped it would.
[4532] I counted at first by tens of
steps.
[4533] I stopped when I could go no further and I said, Bravo, that makes
so many tens, so many more than yesterday.
[4534] Then I counted by fifteens,
by twenties and finally by fifties.
[4535] Yes, in the end I could go fifty
steps before having to stop, for rest, leaning on my faithful umbrella.
[4536] In the beginning I must have strayed a little in Ballyba, if I really was
in Ballyba.
[4537] Then I followed more or less the same paths we had taken on
the way out.
[4538] But paths look different, when you go back along them.
[4539] I
ate, in obedience to the voice of reason, all that nature, the woods, the
fields, the waters had to offer me in the way of edibles.
[4540] I finished the
morphine.
- Segments
Molloy © 2016 Samuel Beckett Digital Manuscript Project.
Editors: Magessa O'Reilly, Dirk Van Hulle, Pim Verhulst and Vincent Neyt