MS-HRC-SB-5-10

[0180] probably the most pleasing to me.[0181] In a word: no change since I
have been [here,] here, apparently; disorder of the lights perhaps
an illusion; all change to be feared; incomprehensible uneasiness.

[0182] That I am not [e]^so^tone deaf appears clearly from the sounds ^{is shown by the sounds that come to} that
reach me.[0183] For though the silence here is almost total ^unbroken, it is not
completely so.

[0184] I remember the first sound heard in this place, I
have a^often heard it since.[0185] For I am on^bliged to assume a beginning
to my sojourn ^residence here, if only for convenience of the exposition. ^{sake of clarity.}
[0186] Hell itself, ^al[⁁]though eternal, dates from the revolt of Lucifer.
[0187] It is therefore permissible, in the light of this distant ^remote analogy,
to think of myself as ^being here for ever, but not as having been here
for ever.[0188] This will greatly help me in my relation.

[0189] Memory notably,
which I did not think myself entitled to call ^up[⁁]on ^{though I could not draw upon did not think myself entitled to draw upon}, will have its
word to say, if necessary.[0190] This represents at least a thousand words
I was not counting on ^{had not reckoned with}.[Stet] [0191] I may well need ^{well be glad of} them.[0192] So after a long period
of immaculate silence a feeble cry was heard, by me.[0193] I do not know
if Malone heard it too.[0194] I was surprised, the word is not too strong.
[0195] After so long a silence a little cry, stifled forthwith ^outright.

[0196] As to de-
termining w^What kind of x^creature uttered it and^, continues, if it is
the same, to do so, every now and then, impossible.[⁁] ^{still does, from time to time? There is no knowing. impossible to say.[⁁]}[0197] Not a human ^one
creature in any case, there are no g^human creatures here, or if there
are they having^e finished ^{done with} crying.[0198] Is Malone the guilty one ^culprit.^?[0199] Am I?
[0200] Is it not perhaps a simple little fart, they can be rending?[0201] De-
plorable mania, when something happens, of wanting to know ^{to want inquire} what.

[0202] If only I were not obliged to manifest.[0203] And why speak of a cry?
[0204] It is perhaps something breaking, ^some two things colliding.[0205] There are
sounds here, from time to time, let that suffice.[0206] This one to be
cry to begin with, since it was the first.[0207] And others, rather dif-
ferent.[0208] I am getting to know them.[0209] I do not know them all.[0210] A man may
die at the age of seventy without ever having had the possibility
of seeing Halley's comet.

[0211] It would help me, since to me too I must attribute a beginning,