MS-HRC-SB-5-10

[1396] it is not that they wish for me.[1397] For it has happened to me many
times already, without their having granted me as much as a brief
sick leave, among the worms, before resurrecting me.[1398] But who knows,
this time, what the future holds in store.[1399] That qua sentient and
thinking being I should be deteriorating at headlong speed ^{going downhill fast} is in
any case an excellent thing.

[1400] Perhaps some day some gentleman,
happening ^chancing to pass my way with his sweet heart on his arm^, at the
precise moment when my last is favouring me with a final taste of
the flight of time, will exclaim, loud enough for me to hear, Oh
I say, this man is ailing, we must call an ambulance.[1401] Thus at ^{with a}
single stroke stone, when all seemed in vain ^lost, the two longedf for ^rare
birds.[1402] I shall be dead, but I shall have lived.

[1403] Unless one is to
suppose him victim of a hallucination.[1404] Yes, to dispel all doubt
his betrothed would need to say, You are right, my love, he looks
as if he were going to throw up.[1405] Then I'd know for certain,[1406] and with
giving up the ghost be born at last, to the sound perhaps of one
of those hiccups which mar alas too often the som^len^mnity of the last ^trépas
moments ^passing..

[1407] When Mahood I once knew a doctor who held that ^{scientifically speaking} the latest
breath could only issue from the fundament and ^that this ^{[⁁] therefore}, rather than
the mouth, ^was the orifice to which the family should present the mirror,
before opening th will the will.[1408] However this may be, and without
dwelling further on these macabre details, it is certain I was
grievously mistaken in supposing that death in itself could be
regarded as evidence, or even a strong presumption, in favour of
a preliminary life.

[1409] And I for my part have no longer the least
desire to leave this world, in which they keep trying to foist me,
with^[⁁]out some kind ofnassurance that I was really there, sucha as a
kick in the arse for example, or a kiss, the nature of the attention
is of little importance, provided I cannot be suspected of being
its author.

[1410] No, not the least desire, for I know it serves no pur-
pose, changes nothing, puts an end to nothing.[1411] But let two third
parties remark me, there, n^before my eyes, and I'll take care of
the rest.How all becomes clear and simple when one opens an eye

[1412] How all becomes clear and simple when one opens an eye