MS-HRC-SB-4-3

[2383] I had stopped looking at him. [2384] I had got used to him. [2385] I was
thinking of him, trying to understand, you can't do that and
look at the same time. [2386] I did not even see him go. [2387] Oh he did not
vanish, after the fashion of a ghosy^t, no, I heard him, the clank
when he took out his watch, the satisfied thumb^p of the umbrella
on the floor, the right about rightabout, the rapid steps towards
the door, its soft closing and finally, I am sorry to,^[₰]say, a gay
and lively whistle dying away. [2388] What have I omitted?

[2389] Little things,
nothings, which will come back to me later nothings. They will
come back to me later,and make me see more clearly what has happen-
ed and say, Ah if I had only known then, now it is too late. [2390] Yes,
little by little I shall see him as he just has been, or as he
should have been for me to be able to say, yet again, Too late,
too late. [2391] There's feeling for you.

[2392] Or he is perhaps just the first
of a series of visitors, all different. [2393] They are going to relay
one another, and they are numerous. [2394] To-morr^o[⁁]w perhaps he will be
wearing leggings, riding-breeches and a check cap, with a whip in
his hand to make up for the umbrella and a horse-shoe in his
button-hole.

[2395] All the people I have ever caught a glimpse of, at
close quarters or at a distance, can ^may file past from now on, that
is obvious. [2396] There may even be women and children, I have caught
a glimpse of a fe w few, they will all be armed with something to
lean on and rummage in ^my[⁁] things with, they will all give me a clout
on the head to begin with and then spend the rest of the day
glaring at me in anger and disgust. [2397] I shall have to revise my