MS-UoR-1227-7-11-1

[1588] this again he could not see as his true sin, but as yet another
atonement which he[₰] had failed to make ^miscarried and which[₰], far from cleans-
ing him of his sin, had[₰] plunged him in it deeper than before. [1589] And
truth to tell the oⁱdeas of guilt and punishment were confused
together in his mind, as those of cause and effect so often are,
in the minds of those who continue to think. [1590] And it was often in
fear and trembling that he suffered, saying, This will cost me
dear.

[1591] But not knowing how to go about it, in order to think and
feel correctly, he would suddenly begin to smile for no reason,
as now, as then, for already it is long since that afternoon, in
March perhaps, or in November perhaps, in October rather, when
the rain caught him far from shelter, to smile and give thanks
for the teeming rain and r^the promise it contained of stars a
little later, to light his way and enable him to get his bearings,
should he wish to do so.

[1592] For he did not know quite where he was,
except that he was in a plain, and the mountains not far, nor
the sea, nor the town, and that all he needed was a dust of light
and a few fixed stars to enable him to make definite headway to-
wards the one, or the other, or the third, or to hold fast where
he was, in t^he plain, as he might be pleased to decide.

[1593] For in
order to hold fast in the place where you happen to be you need
light too, unless you go round in circles, which is practically
impossible in the dark, or halt and wait, motionless, for day
to dawn again, and then you die of cold, unless it does not happen
to be cold. [1594] But Macmann would have been more than human, after
forty or forty-five minutes of sanguine expectation, seeing the
rain persis^t as heavy as ever and day recede at last, if he had