
[0523] reasoned theory.
[0524] On this subject I had only negative and empirical
notions, which means that I was in the dark, most of the time, and
all the more completely as a lifetime of observations had left me
doubting the possibility of systematic decorum, even within a
limited area.
[0525] But it is only since I have ceased to live that I
think of these things and the other things.
[0528] And of that
life too I shall tell you perhaps one day, the day when I know that
when I thought I knew I was merely existing, and that passion without
form or stations will have devoured me down to the rotting flesh
itself, and that when I know that I know nothing, that I am merely only
crying out as I have always cried out, more or less piercingly, more
or less openly. [0529] Let me cry out then, it's said to be good for you.
[0530] Yes, let me cry out, this time, then another time perhaps, then
perhaps a last time.
[0531] Cry out that the declining sun fell full on
the white wall of the barracks.
[0532] It was like being in China.
[0533] A
confused shadow was cast. on it.
[0534] It was I and my bicycle. [0535] I began
to play, gesticulating, waving my hat, moving my bicycle to and fro
before me, blowing the horn, [0536] watching the wall.
[0537] They were watching
me through the bars, I felt their eyes upon me.
[0538] The policeman on
guard at the door told me to go away.
[0539] He needn't have, I was calm
again.
[0540] The shadow in the end is no better than the substance. [0541] I
asked the man to help me, to have pity on me.
[0542] He didn't understand.
[0543] I thought of the food I had refused.
[0544] I took a pebble from my
pocket and sucked it.
[0545] It was smooth, from having been sucked so
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Molloy © 2016 Samuel Beckett Digital Manuscript Project.
Editors: Magessa O'Reilly, Dirk Van Hulle, Pim Verhulst and Vincent Neyt