MS-WU-MSS008-3-50-1

[1366] in my mind that it was not an ^{[⁁]object of virtu}, but ^{[⁁]that it} had a specific
function always to be hidden from me. [1367] I could therefore puzzle over it
endlessly ^{[⁁]without the least} risk. [1368] For to know nothing is nothing, not to want
to know anything ^{[⁁]likewise}, but to be ^{[⁁]beyond knowing} anything, to know you
are ^{[⁁]beyond knowing} anything, that is when peace enters in, to the soul
of the incurious seeker.

[1369] It is then the true division begins, of twenty-
-two by seven for example, and the pages fill with the true ciphers at
last. [1370] But I would rather not affirm anything on this subject. [1371] What does
seem undeniable to me on the contrary is ^[⁁]this, that giving in to the evidence,
to a very strong probabⁱlity rather, I left the shelter of ^the doorway ^{[⁁]and began}
levering myself forward, swinging slowly through the sullen air.

[1372] There
is rapture, or there shou^ld be, in the motion crutches give. [1373] ^{[⁁]It is} a
series of little flights, skimming the ground. [1374] You take off, you land,
through the ^{[⁁]thronging} sound in wind and limb, who have to fasten one foot
to the ground before they dare lift up the other. [1375] And even their most
joyous hastening is less aerial than my hobble.

[1376] But these are reasonings,
based on analysis. [1377] And though my mind was still taken up with my mother,
and with the desire to know if I was near her, it was gradually less so,
perhaps because of the silver in my pockets, but I think not, and then
too because these were ancient cares and the mind cannot always broo^d
on the same cares, but needs fresh cares from time to time, so as to
revert with renewed vigour, when the time comes, to ancient cares.

[1378] But
can one speak here of fresh and ancient cares? [1379] I think not. [1380] But it
would be hard for me to prove it. [1381] What I can assert, without fear of —
without fear, is that I gradually lost interest in knowing, among ^other
things, what town I was in and if I should soon find my mother and settle
the matter between us. [1382] And even the nature of that matter grew dim, for
me, without however vanishing completely. [1383] For it was no small matter
and I was bent on it. [1384] All my life, I think, I had been bent on it.