MS-WU-MSS008-3-50-2

[3964] of disaster sought to cont^ain itself. [3965] And that I did not labour at them
more diligently was a further index of the great changes I had suffered and
of my growing resignation to being dispossessed of self. [3966] And doubtless I
should have gone from discovery to discovery, concerning myself, if I had
persisted. [3967] But at the first faint light, I mean in these wild shadows
gathering about me, dispensed by a vision or by an effort of thought, at
the first light I fled to other cares.

[3968] And all had been for nothing. [3969] And
he who acted thus was a stranger to me too. [3970] For it was not my nature, I
mean it was not my custom, to conduct ^my calculations simultaneously, but
separately and turn about, pushing each one as far as it would go before
turning in desperation to another. [3971] Similarly the missing instructions
concerning Molloy, when I felt them stirring in the depths of my memory,
I turned from them in haste towards other unknowns.

[3972] And I who a fortnight
before would joyfully have reckoned how long I could survive on the prov-
-isions that remained, probably with reference to the question of calories
and vitamins, and established in my head a series of menus asymptotically
approaching nutritional zero, was now content to note feebly that I should
soon be dead of inanition, if I did not succeed in renewing my provisions.

[3973] So much for the second day. [3974] But one incident remains to be noted, before
I go on to the third.

[3975] It was evening. I had lit my fire and was watching it take when I
heard myself hailed. [3976] The voice, already so near that I started violently,
was that of a man. [3977] ^{[⁁]But a}fter this one violent start I collected myself and
continued to busy myself with my fire as if nothing had happened, poking
it with a branch I had torn from its tree for the purpose a little earlier
and stripped of its twigs and leaves and even part of its bark, with my
bare nails. [3978] I have always loved skinning branches and laying bare the
pretty white glossy shaft of sapwood. [3979] But obscure feelings of love and