[p. 32v]
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[2306] [p. 33r] unconditionally, I resume, so long
as, so long as, let me see, as so
long as one, so long as he, ah to hell
with all that, so long as this, then
that, agreed, that's good enough,
I nearly petered out got stuck. [2307.1]
Help, help, if I could only describe
this place, I who am so successful
with my descriptions of places, of
walls, ceilings, floors, they're a x
spe they're my speciality, doors, windows,
what haven't I imagined in the way
of windows since I first be in the course
of my career, some opened on the sea,
all you see was sea and sky, if I
could put myself in a room, xxx
that's that would be the end of the wordhunt,
even doorless, even windowless, x nothing
but the four surfaces, the six surfaces,
if I could shut myself up, it would be
a mine, it could be black dark, I could
be incapable of motion, I'd find a way,
to explore it, I'd listen to the echo,
I'd get to know it, I'd get to remember it,
I'd get to imagine it, I'd be home,
I'd say what it was it's like, in my home,
instead of any old thing, this place, if I
could describe this place, depict it, I've
tried, I don't feel any place, no place
round me, [2307.2] xxx there's no end to me,
I don't know what it is, it isn't flesh,
it doesn't end, it's like air, now I
have it, this time it's I, that's what you
say, it won't last, like gas, balls, balls,
the place, then we'll see, the place first,
then I'll find me in it, I'll put me
in it, a solid lump, in the middle, or
in a corner, well propped on three sides,
the place, if only I could feel a place
for myself, I've tried, I'll try again,
it was never none was ever mine, that
sea under my window, higher than my
window, and the rowboat, do you
remember the rowboat, and the
river, and the bay, I knew I had
memories, pity they are not of me,
and the stars, and the beacons,
and the lights of the buoys, and the
mountain burning, it was the time
when nothing was too good for me,
[2307.3] the others benefited by it, they died
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