
[1860] all my life, I think I had been going to my mother, with the purpose of
establishing our relations on a less precarious footing.
[1861] And when I was
with her, and I often succeeded, I left her without having done anything.
[1862] And when I was no longer with her I wq [place = overwritten] as again on my way to her, hoping to
do better the next time.
[1863] And when I appeared to give up and to busy
myself with something else, or with nothing at all any more, in reality
I was hatching my plans and seeking the way to her house.
[1864] This is taking
a queer turn.
[1865] So even without this so-called imperative I impugn, it
would have been difficult for me to stay in the forest, since I was
forced to assume my mother was not there.
[1866] And yet it might have been
better for me to try and stay.
[1867] But I also said, Yet a little while, at
the rate things are going, and I won't be able to move, but will have to
stay, where I happen to be, unless someone comes and carries me.
[1868] Oh I
did not say it in such limpid language.
[1869] And when I say I said, etc.,
all I mean is that I knew confusedly things were so, without knowing
exactly what it was all about.
[1870] And every time I say, I said this, or,
I said that, or speak of a voice saying, far away inside me, Molloy,
and then a fine phrase more or less clear and simple, a [place = overwritten] or find myself
compelled to attribute to others intelligible words, or hear my own
voice uttering to others more or less articulate sounds, I am merely
complying with the demands of the convention that you [place = supralinear] [⁁]demands you either lie or hold your
peace.
[1871] For what really happened was quite different. [1872] And I did not
say, Yet a little while, at the rate things are going, etc., but that
resembled perhaps what I would have said, if I had been able.
[1873] In reality
I said nothing at all, but I heard a murmur, something gone wrong with
the silence, and I pricked up my ears, like an animal I imagine, who [place = inline] which
gives a start and pretends to be dead.
[1874] And then sometimes there arose
in [place = supralinear] within me, confusedly, a kind of consciousness, which I exr [place = overwritten] p8 [place = overwritten] ressed by saying,
I said, etc., or, Don't do it Molloy, or, Is that your mother's name?
- Segments
Molloy © 2016 Samuel Beckett Digital Manuscript Project.
Editors: Magessa O'Reilly, Dirk Van Hulle, Pim Verhulst and Vincent Neyt