MS-HRC-SB-5-9-2

[1404] going to throw up.[1405] Then I'd know,[1406] and
with my latest breath be born at last,
or to the sound of one of those hiccups
which mar alas too often the solemnity
of death.

[1407] When Mahood I once knew a
doctor who held that the last gasp,
from the strictly scientific point of view,
could only issue from the fundament
and this the orifice to which the family
should present the mirror, before opening
the will.

[1408] However this may be, and without
going any further into these macabre
details, it is ^certain I was grievously
mistaken in supposing that death in itself
could be regarded as evidence, or even a
strong presumption, in favour of a
preliminary life.

[1409] And I for my part have
no longer the least desire to leave this world
in which they keep
trying to drag me without some
kind of assurance that I was there, such
as for example a kick in the arse, or a
kiss, the nature of the attention is of no
importance, providing I cannot be
suspected of being its author.

[1410] No, not
the least desire, for I know it serves no
purpose, changes nothing, puts an end to nothing.
[1411] But let two third parties remark me, in all
objectivity, there, before my eyes, and I'll
take ^care of the rest.

[1412] How all becomes clear and
simple when one opens an eye on the within,
having of course first
exposed it to the without, in order to
benefit by the contrast.[1413] I should be sorry,
though exhausted, to abandon this rich vein.

[1414] For I shall not come back
to it in a hurry, ah no.[1415] But enough of this
cursed first person, it ^is really too much of a good thing,
so red a herring,
I'll get
out of my depth if I'm not careful.

[1416] But
what is the subject? Mahood? No, not
yet.[1417] Worm? Even less.[1418] Bah, any old
pronoun will do, provided one sees through it.
[1419] Matter of habit.[1420] To be adjusted later.
[1421] Where was I?

[1422] Ah yes, the ^{the streams} of
bliss, when all is clear and simple.[1423] The next
thing is somehow to connect this with the
unfortunate Madeleine, and her great goodness.

[1424] Such
attentiveness, the pertinacity
with which she continues to acknowledge me,
do not these sufficiently attest my real presence
at this shop, in the Rue Brancion, never
heard of in my island home.[1425] Would she rid me
of my wretched excrements every Sunday, would