MS-HRC-SB-4-3

[2417] The pain is almost unbearable, upon my soul it is. [2418] Incandescent
migraine. [2419] Death must take me for someone else. [2420] It's the heart's
fault, as in the bosom of the match king, Schneider, Schroeder,
I forget. [2421] It too is burning, with shame, of itself, of me, of
them, shame of everything except ^of beating apparently. [2422] ^{It's nothing, mere nervousness}. [2423] And who
knw^ows, perhaps the first to fail will be my breath, after all.
[2424] After each avowal, before and during, what swirling murmurs. [2425] The
window says break of day, rack of tattered rainclouds stampeding.

[2426] Have a nice time. [2427] Far from this molten gloom. [2428] Yes, my last gasps
are not what they might be, the bellows won't go down, the air is
choking me, perhaps it is a little lacking in oxygen. [2429] Macmann
pygmy beneath the great black gesticulating pines gazes at the
distant raging sea. [2430] The others are there too, or at their windows,
like me, but on their feet, they must be able to move, or to be
moved, no, not like me, they can't do anything for anybody, cling-
ing to the shivering poplars, or at their windows, listening.

[2431] But
perhaps I should finish with myself first, in so far naturally as
such a thing is possible. [2432] The speed I am turning at now makes
things difficult admittedly, but it probably can only increase,
that is the thing to be considered.

[2433] Mem, add to the questionnaire,
If you happen to have a match try and light it. [2434] How is it I heard
nothing when he spoke to me and yet heard him leave, whistling?
[2435] Perhaps he only feigned to speak to me, to try and make me think
I had gone deaf. [2436] Do I hear anything at the present instant? [2437] Let me
see. [2438] No, the answer is no. [2439] Neither the wind, nor the sea, nor the
paper, nor the air I exhale with such labour. [2440] But this innumerable