Digital Manuscript ProjectMalone meurt / Malone Dies

[0964] I shall write on both sides of the page.
[0965] Where does it come from?
[0966] I don't know.
[0967] I found it, just like that, the day I needed it.
[0968] Knowing perfectly well I had no exercise-book I rummaged in my
possessions in the hope of finding one.
[0969] I was not disappointed,
not surprised.
[0970] If to-morrow I needed an old love-letter I would
adopt the same method.
[0971] It is ruled in suq squares.
[0972] The first
papges are covered with ciphers and other symbols and diagrams,
with here and there a brief phrase.
[0973] Calculations I reckon.
[0974] They seem to stop suddenly, prematurely at all events.
[0975] As though
discouraged.
[0976] Perhaps it is astronomy, or astrology.
[0977] I did not
look closely.
[0978] I drew a line, no, I did not even draw a line, and
I wrote, Soon I shall be quite dead at last, and so on, without
even going on to the next page, which was blank.
[0979] Good.
[0980] Now I need
not dilate on this exercise-book when it comes to the inventory,
but merely say, Item, an exercise-book, giving perhaps the colour
of the cover.
[0981] But I may well lose it between now and then, for good
good and all.
[0982] The pencil on the contrary is an old acquaintance, [0983] I
must have had it about me when I was brought here.
[0984] It has five
faces.
[0985] It is very short. It is pointed at both ends.
[0986] A Venus.
[0987] I hope it will see me out.
[0988] I was saying OI did not depart from
myself now with quite the same alacrity.
[0989] That must be in the
natural order of things, all that pertains to me must be written
there, including my inability to grasp what order is meant.
[0990] For
I have never seen any sign of anty, inside me or outside me.
[0991] I have pinned my faith to appearances, believing them to be
vain.
[0992] I shall not go into the details.
[0993] Choke, go down, come up,
choke, suppose, deny, affirm, drown.
[0995] I depart from myself less
- Segments
Malone meurt / Malone Dies © 2017 Samuel Beckett Digital Manuscript Project.
Editors: Dirk Van Hulle, Pim Verhulst and Vincent Neyt