MS-WU-MSS008-3-50-2

[2091] He stood up, rubbing his hands over his chest. [2092] I could do with another
^[|] beer, he said. [2093] Go to the kitchen, I said, the maid will serve you.
[2094] Goodbye, Moran, he said.

[2095] It was too late for mass. [2096] I did not need to consult my watch to
know, I could feel mass had begun without me. [2097] I who never missed mass, to
have missed it on that Sunday of all Sundays! [2098] When I so needed it! [2099] To
buck me up! [2100] I decided to ask for a private communion, in the course of
the afternoon. [2101] I would go without lunc^h. [2102] Father Ambrose was always very
kind and accommodating.

[2103] I called Jacques. [2104] Without result. [2105] I said, ^Seeing me still in
conference he has gone to mass al^one. [2106] This explanation turned out
subsequently to be the correct one. [2107] But I adde^d, He might have come and
seen me, before leaving. [2108] I liked thinking in monologue and then my lips
moved visibly. [2109] But no doubt he was afraid of disturbing me and of being
reprimanded. [2110] For I was sometimes inclined to go too far when I reprimand-
-ed my son, who was consequently a little afraid of me.

[2111] I myself had
never been sufficiently chastened. [2112] Oh I ^had not ^[⁁]been spoiled either, ^[₰]
merely neglected. [2113] Whence bad habits ingrained beyond remedy and of which
even the most meticulous piety has never been able to break me. [2114] I hoped
to spare my son this misfortune, by giving him a good clout from time to
time, together with my reasons for doing so.

[2115] Then I said, Is he barefa^ced
enough to tell me, on his return, that he has been to mass if he has not^,
[₰], if for example he has merely run off to join ^his little friends,
behind the slaughter-house? [2116] And I determined to get the truth out of
Father Ambrose, on this subject. [2117] For it was imperative my son should not
imagine he was capable of lying to me with im^punity. [2118] And if Father
Ambrose could not enlighten me, I would apply to the verger, ^{[⁁]whose vigilance} it
was inconceivable that the presence of my son at twelve o'clock mass had