MS-UoR-1227-7-12-7

[0008] what position she was in!..whether standing..or sitting..
but the brain - ^p ..what?..kneeling?..yes..whether standing..
or sitting..or kneeling..but the brain - ^p ..what?..lying?..
yes..whether standing..or sitting..or kneeling..or lying..
[0009]but the brain still..still..in a way..for her first thought
was..oh long after..sudden flash..brought up as she had
been to believe..with the other waifs..in a merciful..
(brief laugh)..God..(good laugh)..

[0010]first thought was..oh
long after..sudden flash..she was being punished..for her
sins..a number of which then..further proof if proof were
needed..flashed through her mind..one after another..

[0011] then
dismissed as foolish..oh long after..this thought dismissed..
as she suddenly realized..gradually realized..she was not
suffering..imagine!..not suffering..indeed could not re-
member..offhaⁿd..when she had suffered less..unless of course
she was..meant to be suffering^..ha!..thought to be suffering..
just as the odd time..in her life..when clearly intended
to be having pleasure..she was in fact..having none..not

[0011] the slightest..in which case of course..that notion of
punishment..for some sin or other..or for the lot..or no
particular reason..for its own sake..thing she understood
perfectly..that notion of punishment..which had first ox
occurred to her..brought up as she had been to believe..
with the other waifs..in a merciful..(brief laugh)..
God..(good laugh)..first occurred to her..then dismissed..
as foolish..was perhaps not so foolish after all..so on..
all that..vain reasonings..

[0012] till this other thought..oh
long after..sudden flash..very foolish really but - ^p ..
what?..the buzzing?..yes..all the time the buzzing..
so-called..in the ears..though of course actually..not
in the ears at all..in the skull..dull roar in the skull..
and all the time this ray or beam..like moonbeam..but
probably not..certainly not..always the same spot..now

[0012] bright..now shrouded..but always the same spot..as no moon
could..no..no moon..just all part of the same wish to..
torment..though actually in point of fact..not in the leats..
least..not a twinge..so far..ha!..so far..this other thought
theⁿ..oh long after..sudden flash..very foolish really but
so like her..in a way..that she might do well to groan..on
and off..writhe she could not..as if in actual..agony..

[0013]but
could not..could not bring herslef.. herself..some flaw
in her make-up..incapable of deceit..or the machine..more
likely the machine..so disconnected..never got the message..
or powerless to respond..like numbed..couldn't make the