[2206.1] No point either, in your thirst, your hunger, no,
no need of hunger, thirst is enough, in your thirst, no point
in telling yourself stories, to pass the time, stories don't
pass the time, nothing passes the time, that doesn't matter,
that's the way it is, you tell yourself stories, then any old
thing, saying, No more stories from now on, whereas it's stories
still, or rather there were never any stories, it was always
any old thing, for as long as you can remember, no, a little
longer than that, you remember nothing, always any old
thing, always the same old thing, to pass the time, [2206.2] and then
as time didn't pass, for no reason at all, in your thirst, trying
to stop, unable to stop, seeking [] the cause, the cause of
this need to talk, of this inability to stop, finding the cause,
losing it again, finding it again, not finding it again, seeking
no longer, seeking again, finding again, losing again,
seeking no more, seeking again, finding nothing, finding at
last, losing again, talking without stopping, thirstier than ever,
seeking as usual, losing as usual, blathering away, seeking
again, wondering what, what it's all about, seeking
what it can be you are seeking, exclaiming, Ah yes, sighing
No no, crying, Enough, ejaculating, Not yet, seeking anew,
losing your head, seeking your head, talking incessantly,
any old thing, seeking once more, any old thing, thirsting
[p. 113r] away, you don't know for what, ah yes, [⁁] for something to do, no no,
nothing more to be done, since when, the beginning of time,
[2206.3] and now enough of that, unless perhaps, that's an idea, let's seek
over there, one last effort, seek what, pertinent objection,
let us try and discover, before we seek, what it can be, before
we seek over there, over where, talking unceasingly, seeking
inceassantly 
, in yourself, outside yourself, seeking no longer
losing your head, cursing God, stopping cursing, past bearing
it, going on bearing it, seeking indefatigably, in the world
of nature, the world of man, not know where, where is nature,
where is man, what you are seeking, who is seeking,
seeking who you are, supreme aberration, where you are,
what you're doing, what you've done to them, what they've done
to you, [2206.4] babbling along, where are the others, who is
talking, not I, where am I, where is the place I've always been,
where are the others, it is they are talking, talking to me,
talking of me, I hear them, I'm speechless, what do they want,
what have I done to them, what have I done to God, what have they
done to God, what has God done to us, nothing, and we've done
nothing to him, you can't do anything to him, he can't do anything to us, we're innocent, he's innocent, it's nobody's fault,
what's nobody's fault, this state of affairs, what state of
affairs, so it is, so be it, don't fret, so it will be, how so,
rattling on, dying of thirst, losing your head, seeking
dtereminedly , seeking no longer, seeking again, what it is they they
want, they want me to be, this, that, they want me to howl, stir,
emerge from here, be born, die, listen, I'm listening, [2206.5] it's not
enough, I must understand, I'm doing my best, I can't understand,
I stop doing my best, I can't do my best, I've had enough, poor
[p. 114r] devil, so have they, let them tell me what they want, give me
something to do, something doable to do, poor devils, they can't,
they don't know, they're like me, more and more, no more need of
them, no more need of any one, no one can do anything, it's I am
talking, thirsting, starving, in the ice and in the furnace, you
feel nothing, strange, you don't feel a mouth on you, you don't
feel your mouth any more, no need of a mouth, the words are everywhere, within me, outside me, well well, listen to that, a minute
ago I had no thickness, I hear them, no need to hear them, no need
of a head, impossible to stop them, impossible to stop, I'm in
words, made of words, others' words, what others, the place too,
the air, the walls, the floor, the ceiling, words, the whole
universe is here,with me, I'm the air, the walls, the walled-in
one, everything yields, opens, ebbs, flows, like flakes, I'm all these
flakes, meeting, mingling, falling asunder,
wherever I go I find me, leave me, go towards [/]me, come from
me, nothing ever but me, a particle of me, retrieved, lost, gone
astray, [2206.6] words, I am all these words, all these strangers, this
dust of words, with no ground for their setting, so sky for their
dispersing, coming together to say, fleeing one another to say,
that I am they, all of them, those that merge, those that part,
those strangers never meet, and nothing else, yes, something else, that
I'm something quite different, a quite different thing, a dumb
thing in an empty place, a hard shut dry cold black place, where
nothing stirs, nothing speaks, and that I listen, and that I seek,
like a caged beast born of caged beasts born of caged beasts
born of caged beasts born of caged beasts born in a cage and dead
in a cage, born and then dead, born in a cage and then dead in a
cage, in a word like a beast, in one of their words, like such
a beast, and that I seek, like such a beast, with my feeble
strength, such a beast, with nothing left of its species but
fear and fury, no, the fury is past, nothing but fear, nothing
left of all its due but fear centupled, fear of its shadow, [2206.7] no,
blind from birth, of sound then, if you like, we'll have that,
[p. 115r] one must have something, its a pity, but there it is, fear of
sound, fear of sounds, the sounds of beasts, the sounds of men,
sounds in the daytime and sounds at night, that's sufficient,
fear of sounds, all sounds, more or less, more or less fear,
all sounds, there's only one, one sound, continuous, day and
night, what is it, it's steps coming and going, it's voices
speaking for a moment, it's bodies making their way, it's
the air, it's things, it's the air among things, that's
sufficient, that I seek, like it, no, not like it, like
me, in my own way, what am I saying, after my fashion, that I
seek, what do I seek now, what it is, it must be that, it can
only be that, what it is, what it can be, what what can be, what
I seek, no, what I hear, now it comes back to me, all back to me,
I seek, I hear them say I seek what it is I hear, [2206.8] now it comes
back to me, what it can possibly be, and where it can possibly
come from, to me, since all is silent here, and the walls thick,
and how I manage, without feeling an ear on me, or a head, or
a body, or a soul, how I manage, to do what, why nothing obviously,
how I manage, it's not clear, dear dear, you say it's not clear, something
is wanting to make it clear, I'll seek, what is wanting, to make
everything clear, I'm always seeking something, it's wearisome
in the end, and it's only the beginning, how I manage, under such
conditions, to do what I'm doing, what am I doing, I must find
out what I'm doing, tell me what you're doing and I'll ask how it's
possible, [2206.9] I hear, you say I hear, and that I seek, it's a
lie, I seek nothing, nothing any more, no matter, let's leave it,
no harking, and that I seek, listen to them jogging my memory,
firstly what it is, secondly where it comes
from, thirdly how I manage, that's it, now we've got [⁁] it, how
I manage, to do it, seeing that this, considering that that,
inasmuch as God knows what, that's clear now, how I manage, to hear, and how I manage to
understand, it's a lie, what would I understand with, that's why
I'm asking, how I manage, to understand, oh not the half, not
the hundredth, nor the five thousandth, let us go on
dividing by fifty, nor the quarter millionth, that's sufficient,
[p. 116r] but a little nevertheless, it's essential, it's preferable, it's
a pity, but there it is, just a little all the same, the least
possible, it's appreciable, it's sufficient, the rough meaning
of one expression in a thousand, in ten thousand, let us go
on multiplying by ten, nothing is more restful than arithmetic,
in a hundred thousand, in a million, it's too much, too little, we've
gone wrong somewhere, no matter, there is no great difference
here between one expression and the next, when you grasp one you
grasp them all, I am not in that fortunate position, all, how you
exaggerate , always for the whole hog, the all of all and the all
of nothing, never in the happy mean, never, always, it's too much,
too little, often, seldom, [2206.10] let me now sum up, after this digression, there is I, I feel it, yes,
I confess, I give in, there is I, it's essential, it's
preferable, I wouldn't have said so, I won't always say so, so
let me hasten to take advantage of being now obliged to say, in
a manner of speaking, that there is I, on the one hand, and this
noise on the other, that I never doubted, no, let us be logical,
there was never any doubt about that, this noise, on the other, if
it is the other, that will doubtless be the subject of our next
deliberation, I sum up, now that I am there it's I will do the
summing up, it's I will say what is to be said and then say what
it was, that will be fun, I sum up, I and this noise, I see
nothing else for the moment, but I have only just taken over
my functions, I and this noise, and what about it, don't interrupt
me, I'm doing my best, I repeat, I and this noise, two things,
on the subject of which, inverting the natural order, we would
seem to know for certain, among other things, what follows,
namely, on the one hand, with regard to the noise, that it has
not been possible up to date to determine with certainty, or
even apporximately , what it is, in the way of noise, or how it
comes to me, or by what organ it is emitted, or by what perceived,
or by what intelligence apprehended, in its main drift, and, on
the other, that is to say with regard to me, this is going to
take a little longer, with regard to me, nice time we're going
[p. 117r] to have now, with regard to me, that it has not been yet our good fortune to establish with any degree of accuracy what I am, where I am, whether
I am words among words, or whether I am silence in the midst of
silence, to recall only two of the hypotheses launched in this
connexion, though silence to tell the truth has not been very
conspicuous up to now, [2206.11] but appearances are deceptive, I resume,
not yet our good fortune to establish, among other things, what I am, no, already mentioned
that, what I'm doing, how I manage, to hear, if I hear,
it is I who hear, and who can doubt it, I don't know, doubt is
present, in this connexion, somewhere or other, I resume, how I
succeed in hearing, if it's I who hear, and how in understanding,
ellipse when possible, it saves time, how in understanding, same
observation, and how it happens, if it is I who speak, and it may
be assumed it is, as it may be suspected it is not, if it's I
who speak, that I speak without stopping, that I long to stop,
that I can't stop, I indicate the principal divisions, it's more
synoptic, I resume, not the good fortune to establish, with regard to me, if it is I who seek, what exactly it is I seek, find,
lose, find again, throw away, find again, throw away again, no,
I never threw anything away, never threw anything away of all the
things I found, never found anything that I didn't lose, never
lost anything that I might not have thrown away, [2206.12] if it is I who
seek, find, lose, find again, lose again, seek again, seek in
vain, seek again, find again, lose again, seek no more, if it's
I what it is, and if it's not I who it is, and what it is, I see
nothing else for the moment, yes I do, I conclude, not the good fortune to establish, considering the futility of my telling myself
even any old thing, to pass the time, why I do it, if it's I who
do it, as if reasons were required for doing any old thing, to
pass the time, no matter, the question may be asked, off the
record, why time does not pass, does not pass from you, why it
piles up all about you, instant on instant, on all sides, deeper
and deeper, thicker and thicker, your time, others' time, the time
of the ancient dead and the dead yet unborn, why it buries you
[p. 118r] grain by grain neither dead nor alive, with no memory of anything,
no hope of anything, no knowledge of anything, no history
and no prospects, buried under the seconds, saying any old thing,
your mouth full of sand, oh I know it's immaterial, time is
one thing, I am another, but the question may be asked, why
time does not pass, just like that, off the record, en passant,
to pass the time, I think that's all, for the moment, I see
nothing else, I see nothing whatever, for the time being. [2207] But
I really must not ask myself any more questions, if it's I, I really
must not. [2208] More resolutions, while we're at it, that's right,
resolutely, more resolutions. [2209] Make abundant use of the principle
of parcimony , as if it were familiar to me, it is not too late. [2210] Assume notably henceforward that the thing said and the thing
heard have a common source, resisting for this purpose the
temptation to call in question the possibility of assuming
anything whatever. [2211] Situate this source in me, without specifying
where exactly, no finicking, anything is preferable to the
consciousness of third parties and, more generally speaking, of an
outer world. [2212] Carry if necessary this process of compression to
the point of abandoning all other postulates than that of a
deaf [⁁] half-wit, hearing nothing of what
he says, and understanding even less. [2213] Evoke at painful junctures,
when discouragement threatens to raise its head, the image of
a vast cretinous mouth, red, blubber and slavering, in solitary
confinement, extruding indefatigably, with a noise of washing
and wet kisses, the words that obstruct it. [2214] Set aside once and for
all, at the same time as the analogy with orthodox damnation,
all idea of beginning and end. [2215] Overcome, that goes without saying,
the fatal leaning towards expressiveness. [2216] Equate me, without
pity or scruple, with him who exists, somehow, no matter how,
no finicking, with him whose story this story had the brief ambition to be. [2217] Better, ascribe to me a body. [2218] Better still, arrogate
to me a mind. [2219] Speak of a world of my own, sometimes referred to
as the inner, without choking. [2220] Doubt no more. [2221] Seek no more. [2222] Take
advantage of the brand new soul and substantiality to abandon,
[p. 119r] with the only possible abandon, deep down within.