[p. 36v] DOODLE 67
DOODLE 68
DOODLE 69
DOODLE 70
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[1963] [p. 37r] stone, or if there is, the facts are there, if
there is, it's as if there wasn't, the facts
are there, no vegetables, no minerals, only
Worm, kingdom undetermined unknown, Worm is
there, as it were, as it were. [1964] But not
so fast, it's too soon, to return, to
where I am, empty-handed, in triumph,
to where I'm waiting, calm, passably calm,
knowing, thinking I know, that nothing has
happened to me, nothing will happen to
me, good or bad, nothing good, nothing bad,
nothing of a nature to undo undo me, it
would be premature. [1965] I see me, I see my
place, nothing there is nothing to show it,
nothing to distinguish it, from the other
places, they are mine, all mine, if I wish,
I wish for none but mine, there is nothing to
mark it, I am there so little, I see it,
I feel it round me, it cleaves to me, it covers
me, if only this voice could stop, for a second,
it would seem long to me, a second of silence. [1966]
I'd listen, I'd know if it was going to begin
again, or if it was stilled for ever, what
would I know it with, I'd know. [1967] And
I'd keep listening, to try and advance
in their good graces, keep my place in their
favour, in ord and be ready, when they
judged fit to take me in hand again, or
I'd stop listening, I'd stop listening,
is it possible that one day I'll stop listening,
without having to fear the worst, namely,
I don't know, what can be worse, a woman's
voice perhaps, I hadn't thought of that,
they might engage a soprano. [1968] But let us
leave these dreams and try again, if only I knew
what they wanted, they want me to be Worm, but I
was, I was, what's wrong, I was, but ill,
that must it must be that, it can only be that,
what else can it be, but that, I didn't report
in the light, the light of day, in their midst,
to hear them say, Didn't we tell you you were
alive? [1969] I have endured, that must be it, I shouldn't
have endured, but I feel nothing, yes yes,
this voice, I have endured it, I didn't fly from
it, I should have fled from it, Worm should
have fled, but where, how, he's riveted,
Worm should dragged himself away, no matter
where, towards them, towards the azure, but
how could he, he can't stir, it isn't necessarily
bonds needn't be bonds, there are no bonds
here, it's as if I were rooted, bonds in a way
if you like, the earth would have to quake,
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