Samuel Beckett
Digital Manuscript Project
Molloy

MS-WU-MSS008-3-49

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[1917] compared to others, I mean those I have tried, is this, that when you want to rest you stop and rest, without further ado. [1918] For standing there is no rest, nor sitting neither. [1919] And there are men who move about sitting,and even kneeling, haulig [place = overwritten] ng themselves to right and left, forward and backward, with the help of hooks. [1920] But he who moves in this way, crawling on his belly, like a reptile, no sooner comes to rest than he begins to rest, and even the very moe [place = overwritten] vement is a kind of rest, compared to other movements, I mean those that have worn me out. [1921] And in this way I moved onward in the forest, slowly, but with a certain regularity, and I covered my fifteen paces, day in, day out, without killing myself. [1922] And I even crawled on my back, plunging my crutches blindly behind me into the thickets, and with the black boughs for sky to my closing eyes. [1923] I was on my way to Mother. [1924] And from time to time I said, Mother, to cheer me I suppose. [1925] I kept losing my hat, the lace had broken long ago, until in a fit of temper, I banged it down on my skull with such violence that I couldn't get it off again. [1926] And if I had met any ladyfriends, assuming I had ladyfriends, I would have been powerless to salute them properly. [1927] But there was always present in my mind, which was still working, if laboriously, the need to turn, to keep on turning, and every three or four jerks I altered course, which permitted me to describe, if not a circle, at least a great polygon, perfection is not of this world, and to hope that I was going forward in a straight line, in spite of everything, [place = overwritten] ,day and night, towards my mother. [1928] And true enough the day came when the forest ended and I saw the light, the light of the plain, exactly as I had foreseen. [1929] But I did not see it from afar, trembling beyond the harsh trunks, as I had expected, but suddenly I was in it, I opened my eyes and saw I had arrived. [1930] And the reason for that was probably this, that for some time past I had not opened my eyes, or seldom. [1931] And even my little changes of course were made blindly, in the dark. [1932] The forest ended in

[p. 107r]

[1932] a ditch, I don't know why, and it was in this ditch that I became aware of what had happened to me. [1933] I suppose it was the fall into the ditch that opened my eyes, for why s [place = overwritten] would they have opened otherwise? [1934] I looked at the plain rolling away as far as the eye could see. [1935] No, not quite so far as the eye could see. [1936] For my eyes having got used to the light, I fancied I saw, faintly outlined against the horizon, the towers and steeples of a town, which of course I could not assume was mine, on such slight evidence. [1937] It is true the plain seemed familiar, but in my region all the plains looked alike, when you knew one you knew them all. [1938] Anyway, whether it was my town or not, whether somewhere under that faint haze my mother breathed or whether she poisoned the air a hundred miles away, were ludicrously idle questions for a man in my position, though of undeniable interest on the plane of pure knowledge. [1939] For how could I drag myself over this vast moor, where my crutches would fumble in vain. [1940] Rolling perhaps. [1941] And then? [1942] Would they let me roll on to my mother's door? [1943] Fortunately for me at this painful juncture, which I had vaguely foreseen, but not in all its bitterness, I heard a voice telling me not to worry, that help was coming. [1944] Literally. [1945] These words struck it's not too much to say as clearly on my ear, and on my understanding, as the urchin's thanks I suppose when I stooped and picked up his marble. [1946] Don't worry Molloy, we're coming. [1947] Well, I suppose you have to try everything once, succour included, to get a complete pick [place = overwritten] ture of the resources of their planet. [1948] I slithered down to the bottom of the ditch. [1949] It must have been Spring, a morning in Spring. [1950] I thought I heard birds, skylarks perhaps. [1951] I had not heard a bird for a long time. [1952] How was it I hadn't heard any in the forest? [1953] Nor seen any. [1955] It had not seemed strange to me. [1956] Had I heard any at the seaside? [1957] Seagulls? [1958] I couldn't remember. [1959] I remembered the corn-crakes.

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[1960] The two travellers came back to my memory. [1961] One had a club. [1962] I had forgotten them. [1963] I saw the sheep again. [1964] Or so I say now. [1965] I didn't worry, other scenes of my life came back to me. [1966] There seemed to be rain, then sunshine, turn about. [1967] Real Spring weather. [1968] I longed to go back into the forest. [1969] Oh not a real longing. [1970] Molloy could stay, where he happened to be.

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