MS-UoR-1227-7-12-5

[0010] a number of whh ^{[place = overwritten] i}ch then ^{[place = margin left] immediately} [⁁] ^{[place = supralinear] then...oh long after}..further proof if proof were
needed..flashed through her mind..one after another..
then dismissed.. dismissed as foolish..oh long after!..
this thought dismissed..as she suddenly realized..gradual-
ly realized..she was not suffering..imagines§ ^{[place = overwritten] !}..not suf-
fering!..indeed could not remember..off-hand..when she

[0011] had suffered less..unless of course she was..meant to be
suffering ^{[place = margin left] ..ha!}..thought to be..just as the odd time..in her
life..when clearly intended to be having pleasure..she
was in fact..having none..not the slightest..in which case
of course..that notion of punishment..for some sin or
other..or for the lot..or no particular reason..for its

[0011] own sake..thing she understt ^{[place = overwritten] o}od perfectly..that notion
of punishment..which had first occurred to her..sudden
flash..brought up as she had been to believe..with the
other waifs..in a mercig ^{[place = overwritten] f}ul..(brief laugh)..God..(good
laugh)..first occurred to her..then dismissed..as foolish..
was perhaps not so foolish..after all..so on..al ^{[place = inline] l} that..
vain reasonings..

[0012] till another thought..sudden flash..oh
long after!..very foolish really but - ..what?..the buz-
zing?..yes..all the time the buzzing..so-called!..in the
ears..though of course actually..not in the ears at all..
in the skull..dull roar in the skull..and all this the
time this ray.. ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} or beam..like moonbeam..but probably not..
certainly not..always the same spot..now bright..now

[0012] shrouded..but always the same spot..az ^{[place = overwritten] s} no moon could..
no..no moon..just all part of the same wish to..torment..
though actually in point of fact..not in the least..not
a twinge..so far..ha!..so far..this other thought then..
very foolish really but so like her..in a way..that she
might do well to groan..on and off..writhe she could not..
as if in actual..agony..

[0013]but could not..could not bring
herself..some flaw in her make-up..incapable of deceit..
or the machine..more likely the machine..so disconnected..
never got the meassage..or powerless to e ^{[place = overwritten] r}espond..like
numbed..couldn't make the sound..not any sound ^{[place = margin left] ..no sound of any kind}..no ca
screaming for help for example..should she feel ^{[place = margin left] so} inclined..
scream ^{[place = margin left] ..(screams)}..then listen..(pause ^{[place = supralinear] silence})..scream again ^{[place = margin left] ..(screams again)}..listen again..
(pause ^{[place = supralinear] silence})..no..spared that..

[0014]all silent as the grave..no
part - ..what?..the buzzing?..yes..all silent but for the
buzzing..so-called!..[0015]no part of her moo ^{[place = overwritten] v}ing..that she could
fel ^{[place = overwritten] e}l..only the eyelids..presumabm ^{[place = overwritten] l}y..on and off..shut out
the light..reflex they call it..no feeling of any kind..
but the lids..even at the best of times..who feels them?..
opening..shutting..all that moisture..

[0016] but the brain still..
the barin still sufficiently..oh very much so!..at this
stage..in control..under control..to question even this..
for on that April morning..so it reasoned..that April
morning..she fixing with her eye..a distant bell..as she
hastened towards it..fixing it with her eye..lest it elude

[0016] her..had not all gone out..all that light..of itself..
without any..any..on her part..so on..so on it reasoned..
vain questionings..and all dead still..sweet silent as
the grave..when suddenly..gradually..she realiz - ..
what?..the buzzing?..yes..all dead still but for the buz-
zing..so-called!..

[0017]when suddenly she realized..words were -
..what?..who?..what?..no..no!..she!..(pause and movement 2)
..realizd ^{[place = margin left] ...}words were coming..words were coming!..a voice
she did not recognize..at first..so long since it had
sounded[0018]..then finally had to admit..to herself..could be