Digital Manuscript ProjectNot I / Pas moi

[0015] moving...that she could feel...just the eyelids...presumably...on and off
...shut out the light...reflex they call it...no feeling of any kind...
but the lids...even best of times...who feels them?...opening...shutting
...all that moisture...[0016]but the brain still...still sufficiently...
oh very much so!...at this stage...in control...under control...to
question even this...for on that April morning...so it reasoned...that
[0016]April moe [place = overwritten] rning...she fixing with her eye...a distant bell...as she hastened
towards it...fixing it with her eye...lest it elude her...had not all
gone out...all that light...of itself...without any...any...on her part
...so on...so on it reasoned...vain questionings...and all dead still...
sweet silent as the grave...when suddenly...gradually...she realiz-...
what?...the buzzing?...yes...all dead still but for the buzzing...
[0016]so-called!...[0017]when suddenly she realizef [place = overwritten] d...words were-...what?. [place = supralinear] .. who?...
no...SHE!...SHE! [place = margin left] [₰] ...(pause and movement 2
)...realized...words were coming
...imagine!...words were coming!...a voice she did not recognize...at
first [place = supralinear] ...so long since it had sounded...[0018]then finally had to admit...could be
none other...than her own...certain vowel sounds...she had never heard...
elsewhere...so that people would stare...the rae [place = overwritten] re occasions...once or
[0018]twice a year...always winter some strai [place = overwritten] nge reason...stare at her
uncomprehending...and now this stream...steady stream...she who had never
...on the contrara [place = overwritten] y...practically speechless...all her days...how she
survived![0019]...even shopping...out shopping...busy shopping centre...
supermart...just hav [place = overwritten] nd in the list...with the bag...old black shopping
bag...than stand there waiting...any length of time...middle of the
[0019]throng...motionless...staring into space...mouth half open as usual...
till it was back in her hand...the bag back in her hand...then pay and
go...not as much as goodbye...how she survived!...and now this stream
...not catching the half of it...not the quarter...no idea...what she
was saying...[⁁] [place = supralinear] IMAGINE!... [place = supralinear] NO IDEA WHAT SHE WAS SAYING!...[0020]till she began trying to...delude herself...it was not
hers at all..not her voice at all...and no doubt would have...vital
she should...was on the point...after long efforts...[0021]when suddenly
[0021]she felt...gradually she felt...her lips moving...imagine ! her lips
moving!...as of course till then she had not...and not alone the lips...
the cheeks...the jaws...the whole face...all those-...what?...the tongue?
...yes...the tongue in the mouth...all those contortions without
which...no speech possible...and yet...in the ordinary way...not felt
at all...so intent one is...on what one is saying...the whole being...
hanging on its words...so that not only she had...had she...not only
[0021]had she ...to give up...admit hers alone...her voice alone[0022]...but this
other awful thought...oh long after!...sudden flash...even more awful
if possible...that feeling was coming back...
...imagine!...feeling coming back!...starting at the top...then working
down...the whole machine...but no...spared that...the mp [place = overwritten] outh alone...
sp [place = overwritten] o far...ha!...so far...[0023]then thinking [place = margin left] ...oh long after... [place = margin left] sudden flash...it can't go on...all this...
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