MS-HRC-SB-4-3

[1711] a space, and I made a little cap for it, out of tin. [1712] Next.
[1713] Poor Macmann. [1714] Decide ^{[place = margin left] d}ly it will never have been given to me to
finish anything, except perhaps breathing. [1715] One must not be greedy.
[1716] But is this how one chokes? [1717] Presumably. [1718] And the rattle, what about
the rattle? [1719] Perhaps it is not de rigueur after all. [1720] To have
vagitated and not be bloody well able to rattle. [1721] How life dulls
the power to protest to be sure.

[1723] I wonder what my last words will
be, written, the others do not endure, but vanish, into thin air.
[1724] I shall never know. [1725] I shall not finish this inventory either, a
little bird tells me so, the paraclete perhaps, psittaceously
named. [1726] Be it so. [1727] A club in any case, I can't help it, I must
state the facts, without trying to understand, to the end. [1728] There
are moment ^{[place = supralinear] moments} when I feel I have been here always, perhaps even was
born here. [1728|001] Then it passes. [1729] That would explain many things.

[1730] Or
that I have come back after a long absence. [1731] But I have done with
feelings and hypotheses. [1732] This club is mine and that is all about
it. [1733] It is stained with blood, but insufficiently, insufficiently.
[1734] I have defended myself, ill, but I have defended myself. [1735] That is
what I tell myself sometimes. [1736] One boot, originally yellow, I
forget for which foot. [1737] The other, its fellow, has gone.

[1738] They took
it away, at the beginning, before they realized I should never
walk again. [1739] And they left the other, in the hope I would be sadde
saddened, seeing it thee ^{[place = overwritten] r}e, without its fellow. [1740] Men are like that.
[1741] Or perhaps it is on top of the cupboard. [1742] I have looked for it
everywhere, with my stick, but I never thought of the top of the
cupboard. [1742|001] Till now. [1743] And as I shall never look for it any more, ^{[place = margin left] or anything else any more}
either on top of the cupboard or elsewhere ^{[place = margin left] anywhere else}, it is no longer mine.